Miz Gina's Front Porch

The Chickmo Chronicals 2-1-2012

2012-02-01T12:23:00.001-06:00

Chickmo has been on lock down for several months while the inmate underwent... behavior modification. After the chickolgoist Dr. Cluck assured me that they now understand why their behavior made me crazy they are again ready to try to small dose of freedom.

Day passes where reinstated as of Monday. They are allow to be out and roam the land during the warm hours of the day. Free to chase and eat bugs and grass. Things seem to be going well... but I see them... they are all over there in a group quietly clucking to themselves and when I walk up they all scatter. I am certain they are plotting and perhaps scouring the yard for tools with which to make the great escape.

Oddly, we have had to new transfers. Two more inmates for the chain gang. They just showed up... no paper work at all and they go by Artemis and Persephone. They are not merely hens no they are hardened criminals ... they are GUINEAS! Where they came from I can not be sure but they appear to be here to stay.

Peeper remains in her own area, she is not allowed in the general population as there have been attempts on her life by the other inmates. She is instead given a cushy pen and lots of feed. She has not been in on the nefarious activities of the other inmates.

The only other anomaly is that we have an influx of honey bees in Peepers pen... they seem to like her feed. They are gentle and not easily riled so I certainly don't mind them being around. I wonder if they have a hive around here somewhere. I am sure this is something that will come to light at a later day.

Over the course of the winter the inmate's egg production fell off some as was expected. They also became a little thin and would result in a mess when taken into the house and when put in pockets.... All except for Pepper, she apparently lays ROCKS. I wasn't able to get her eggs for several days and when I did I didn't want to eat them so I threw them out into the yard.... they BOUNCED and did not break!

That is my account of the activities from the prison known as Chickmo.

Not busy enough...

2012-01-28T08:56:00.001-06:00

I have made an effort to slow things down in my life, to rest more and to get healthier. This has meant more time to think, to worry, and to let life get to me. In my case this is not usually a good thing.

It is cold and the weather lately has kept me inside. I am very creative person and need an outlet, I miss taking pictures and I miss the green and beauty of the other times of the year.

Anyway my point is that lately I apparently have not been busy enough... how do I know this?

Well I do one of two things when my life isn't busy enough. I become less happy, I love to be doing things... so when I can't I either...

Over share my life. I post about every little thing that comes along, in order to occupy my time. I post about anything that might be the least exciting, trying to get attention. How is THAT for honest?

OR

I get too involved in other people's lives. I don't even mean meddling as I don't do that.... but I ... pay too much attention to others. It generally brings drama into my life... again to occupy my time.

Not only are both of these things unhealthy BUT they stop be from focusing on being the best ME I can be. It keeps me from dealing with the important things in my life. Long time readers will know that I call these things ... bright shiny objects.

So I am going to put my blinders back on and pay less attention to the objects whirling around me. Back to my happy homemaking, cookie decorating, monkey playing with, picture taking, quilt making life lol....

A couple of enchiladas

2012-01-24T16:59:00.001-06:00

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees

You will need....
Hamburger
an onion
a small can of green chilies
shredded cheese
Enchilada mix and the tomato sauce to make it
Tortillas -- I have both flour and corn

Chop the onion and cook it with the hamburger meat

Cook the enchilada sauce according to the directions on the back

Now I am making two types so I used TWO packets of mix and then then it was done I divided it. I added some of the cooked meat to this half.

Add the Chilies to the meat and onions
Now I was raised in a Mexican food restaurant and I love corn tortillas but some don't. If you are going to use corn tortillas heat them for a minute in the microwave for a minute so that they are soft and won't break. These will be just cheese so you want to put a handful of cheese on it and roll it up.

Repeat until the pan is full

Pour the meaty enchilada sauce over them all and top with shredded cheese. Put in the oven until it is all heated and melty!

Now for the other kind... these are green beef enchiladas and I usually use a different sauce but since I was making the red sauce I just used it. Add the meat mixture and cheese to the tortilla and roll it up

Alternate sauce is
1 pound of velveeta
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 can of evaporated milk
Melt all together and use the same as the red sauce

Repeat until pan is full

Yes there are little bits of meat in the sauce I had left over from the cheese ones and tossed it in, but usually this one would be meat free. So cover them with sauce

and cheese and into the oven til hot and bubbly.
YUM!

These are the corn tortilla/cheese enchiladas
These are the green beef ones

Enjoy!

The way I like to make roast

2012-01-23T12:16:00.001-06:00

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

You need
a nice sized beef roast
onion
carrots
some flour
salt
pepper
seasoning ( I like Lawrys)

Season the roast on both sides

Sprinkle flour in a big baking dish, that you will use to cook the roast in... coat the roast in flour

Heat oil in a skillet, when it is hot add the roast, you really just want to brown the surface to help sear in the moisture.

While the roast is cooking add more flour to the pan, this will make your gravy

Add some water and whisk it together, it will be thin but it will thicken during the cooking. You can just eyeball it there isn't any set consistency.

Now add your roast to the flour/water mixture

Cut the onion into sections and the potatoes in half or quarters depending on their size. Cook slowly for about 2 hours or so, it will be falling apart. Remove the roast and vegetables and whisk up all the liquid... that is your gravy.

YUM! Enjoy!

Chocolate bundles

2012-01-18T14:15:00.001-06:00

Preheat oven to 375
You will need
1 can of crescent rolls
Dove chocolate candies or Hershey's kisses or even chocolate chips. I used milk chocolate but you can use semi sweet or dark... whatever floats your boat.
Sugar to sprinkle on top

Open the roll on a lightly floured surface and cut or separate into 4 pieces.

Now on each quarter, seal up the perforation on both sides, then cut in half. This will give you 8 bundles.

Put your chocolate in the center of each. I used two as I wasn't sure if the chocolate would ooze out. It didn't and really these could even hold another one if you are having and extra chocolate kind of day.

Gather up the four corners and mash them together and kinda fold over to seal it closed.

I then sprinkled them with water so the sugar would stick better.
Sprinkle with the sugar. Now bake about 14 minutes..

Until golden brown!

As soon as it is cool enough to eat... DIG IN! SO GOOD!

Paula is not responsible...

2012-01-17T10:30:00.001-06:00

So Paula Deen announced this morning she has diabetes. They have pretty much crucified her since the rumors started.

Yes, she cooks things that are not very healthy, but she is not responsible for what others eat.

Look you KNOW that 2 sticks of butter and 2 cups of sugar in a recipe isn't good for you. You also have no idea what she eats or doesn't eat.

Her show is about entertainment. It is about TREATS! Not every day meals.

They say how can you cook this? How can you push it when you have diabetes? Isn't that hypocritical?

Well let me tell you about me. I can't eat a lot of sugar but I STILL love to bake! I love to cook, and nope not all of it is healthy. I REALLY love fried okra and fried squash. I REALLY love cornbread dripping with butter...

BUT I don't eat it every day. I eat one or two cookies and I freeze them or give them away.

Since I give those cookies away does that make me bad??? Am I therefore responsible for their health?

It never ceases to amaze me how people will find ANYONE other than themselves to blame for their problems...

Cook what you like Paula and eat what you should... and you out there do the same!

Homemade pizza

2012-01-16T20:08:00.000-06:00

Homemade pizza

1 pkg yeast
1 cup warm water
2 cups of flour
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
pizza sauce (I usually make my own sauce but I am lazy today)
Mozzarella cheese
Toppings of your choice

Combine the water, yeast and sugar in a bow, stir and set aside to proof.

Add the flour, salt and olive oil to a large mixing bowl

When the yeast has proofed it will be foamy looking...

Add the yeast to the flour mixture

Beat until you have a stiff dough. Cover and let rise for 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Turn out onto a floured surface and work in a little flour to make it easier to handle

Roll out to desired size and shape
Transfer to pizza stone or pan and spread sauce over the surface

Cover with Cheese and toppings of your choice.

Bake 20 -25 minutes. Enjoy!

Fancy Pants Chicken

2012-01-14T05:19:00.001-06:00

Fancy Pants Chicken

3 Tablespoons vegetable oil
6 boneless chicken breasts
1/2 cup teriyaki sauce
1/2 cup ranch dressing
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3 green onions chopped
1/2 (3 oz) pkg bacon bits
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped (optional for garnish)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

** NOTE this recipe serves 6 but there is no way 6 of these will get eaten here so I divide the recipe in half and used 2 chicken breasts. It turned out delicious.

Heat the vegetable oil in a skillet and brown the breast 5 minutes on each side.

Put the breasts in an oven proof dish and brush with the teriyaki sauce.

Then the ranch, making sure it is all covered.

Sprinkle the shredded cheddar on the chicken

Add the bacon bits

and finally the green onions.

Isn't that pretty? Now bake for 25-30 minutes until the juices run clear.
Tada! This is REALLY good ya'll!

Super Simple Biscuits

2012-01-13T07:39:00.001-06:00

Preheat oven to 425
You will need:
2 cups Self rising flour (see note below)
4 Tbsp Crisco
3/4 cup milk

If you don't have self rising flour you can make your own.... all it is is 2 cups of regular flour, 2 1/2 tsp of baking powder and 1/2 tsp salt. That's it!

You will need:
a large mixing bowl
a Tablespoon measuring spoon IF you have to measure your shortening or butter
a pastry cutter OR a fork OR you can just use your fingers
a biscuit cutter OR you can use a glass or a tin can
a rolling pin
a cookie sheet

put 2 cups of the self rising flour in a bowl

Add your shortening or butter

Now you want to work the shortening or butter into the flour until it is crumbly

Now the milk, I usually eye ball this ... add until it forms a dough ball but I know that people like a more specific amount so I measured it as I added it... it took 12 Tablespoons... which is 3/4 cup! Just be careful and add it a bit at a time you don't want the dough too wet.

This is what you want the dough to look like. The thing about biscuit dough is the more you mess with it the tougher your biscuits will be, so do as little stirring and beating as you can.

Turn it out on a floured surface. I used plain old flour not self rising. You just don't want your dough to stick to the counter top.

Roll it out... don't get it too thin!

Cut out your biscuits... then you can gather up the left over dough and re-roll and cut again.

Spray the cookie sheet and put the cut out biscuits on it. Bake for 10-12 minutes until light brown.

Add a bit of Jelly! Or honey, or ooo apple butter!

OR I like to have them with sausage gravy. LOL I noticed this as I set down to eat that it appears my biscuits have legs! AWESOME!!

Would you change?

2012-01-12T15:36:00.001-06:00

In 1991 the Noble Prize for Science was awarded for the mapping of the human genome. That is basically a map of DNA. In the 20 years since they have refined it and made it more detailed. They have isolated the genes that cause all kinds of diseases and conditions.

This test has been available to the public for a while but is incredibly expensive. One use of this is when women are tested for the BRACA which will show if you carry the the gene for breast cancer.

The news this morning is that by the end of the year they expect people to be able to have the whole reading for 1,000.00.

Now I personally don't want to know. I will deal with whatever the Lord gives me WHEN or IF it comes.

I wonder though... if you knew would it REALLY change how you live your life?

Think about it ... we already KNOW for a fact that being overweight increases your chances of a myriad of things and smoking is known to cause lung cancer and emphysema, yet we are the heaviest we have ever been as a nation! The smokers still smoke... despite the not only the health issues but the cost.

We already KNOW we are prone to these things and yet we are unwilling to change our lives to lessen the chances.

So really knowing this... if they found the gene for cancer in your make up is that really any different than knowing you are already at risk just by doing it? If they find the gene for heart disease will you REALLY give up the foods that put you at risk, which are mostly the SAME foods that make people obese.

I suppose there are people that would know and fight it will all they have, but they are few.

I wish I knew why we are this way... why even knowing the consequences we still do it! Maybe we think it will never happen to US.

I think I will just live today, make the best choices I can and then fight my battles as the come.

Family .. what it REALLY is

2011-11-13T14:58:00.001-06:00

I was propped up in bed last night and playing with my iphone, monitoring Facebook. Having such a good time and giggling with people.

I was overcome with gratitude. My heart swelled up and I was happy. It wasn't the content even of what was being said, although it was fun too... it was that we cared about each other.

I have made no secret about the state of my relationships with my sisters. I sometimes get really down about it and I feel jealous of others that have great relationships with their siblings. I feel I am missing out on things.

However, it really hit home last night that these people are my siblings. They tease me, they pick on me, they encourage me. They are always there when I hurt or when I need advice. They check on me if I am not around for a day or two. They share a part of my life on a daily basis.

There isn't much I wouldn't do for these few people.

I am not one to "adopt" siblings lightly. I have some negative feelings toward that very word, but these people are changing that. If I adopt you then I want you to know it MEANS something to me... not just calling you sis or bro in passing.

You want to know the one thing that hurts about it? The fact that while I may have known these people to varying degrees for years... it isn't until lately that I have gotten close to them. They can like me and accept me but life long real family can't.

So I sat there and I grinned and I said a little prayer of thanksgiving to God for giving me back what I lost. Maybe not in the way I had prayed for and maybe not in the traditional sense but He gave me a family.

So to you adopted siblings I adore you.

Make your own vanilla

2011-10-24T13:46:00.001-05:00

So easy, although it does take time for it to develop. If you make it now you will have it ready at Christmas.

You need Vodka... the cheap stuff is fine, you won't know the difference. You need vanilla beans, I was not able to find any around here.... I live 3 miles east of nowhere so I ordered mine online through amazon. You will also need something to put the vanilla and vodka in. I happen to have canning jars so that is what I am using.

Feel your jar with the vodka ... not too full.

This is a close up of the vanilla bean pod. Inside of these are MILLIONS of tiny little vanilla beans!

So you use a knife and split the bean.. and run the knife down the inside... see all the tiny tiny beans?

Then put the beans and the pods in the vodka... and give it a little shake.

All done, now set it aside somewhere and in about 2 months you will have wonderful vanilla. The good thing is you control how strong your vanilla is by how much you add and how long you let it set.

So much cheaper than the stuff you buy at the store!

Manners and online time!

2011-10-19T18:32:00.001-05:00

You know the internet is a wonderful thing. We are able to find and be friends with people that live far away from us. We are able to learn their culture and way of life. We are able to share things in an instant. Sounds really great and it is ...

BUT...

The internet allows for people to be anonymous, even if you know their name. It allows people to act in ways that I doubt they would in "real life". People say and do things knowing they will never have to look that person in the eye.

When we are online we forget our manners. We forget COURTESY! We forget that what WE post others see... or they have to ignore us. While one person may have no problem with crude language I DO! While another person may not have an issue with lewdness or nudity I DO!

Yes it is your page, and yes you have the right to post what you want but when you do you have to understand that you may be removed or ignored because a person is offended.

The nature of some online social sites is that others can also see what is on a persons page... meaning that if my grandson, niece, grandmother or preacher are looking at MY page they can see stuff... not only do I not want them exposed to it but then they want to know why I want friends that are like that. Then it reflects on ME.

One last thing, as I said be thoughtful when you post... really and truly I don't need to see a bender posting. I don't want to see 20 status updates of ANYTHING one after the other!

Ok now.... everyone look around and find your MANNERS! PLEASE!!

A monkey in a pumpkin patch

2011-10-09T07:35:00.001-05:00

Is it worth it?

2011-10-06T07:03:00.001-05:00

I am always kind of amazed at what you find in the food aisle in the store. I am always amazed at what they come up with to "save us time".

I know that people are busy and that convenience is prized. I guess people think that if they buy those things and cook them at home it is better than junk food. That is certainly debatable. It might be cheaper though. Especially if you have a larger family.

I just think sometimes... just how lazy have we gotten?

I don't expect everyone to make things from scratch. In fact on occasion I will eat hamburger help because I LIKE it! lol I almost NEVER make macaroni and cheese from scratch, because I LIKE the stuff you can buy! This stuff has it's place .. BUT...

The fact is there is nothing like the real thing.

Instant mashed potatoes will NEVER taste like real creamy whipped potatoes! Store bought bread and biscuits will NEVER hold a candle to the ones fresh from the oven... and those cookies and cakes from the "bakery" section of the store.. don't even go there!

In the baking aisle the other day I saw mixes...mixes are not new... cake mixes, muffin mixes etc. I don't like them and seldom use them but I can see the need for them.

HOWEVER, I saw this...

You add water,shake and squeeze into muffin tins.

Really have we gotten so lazy that we can't make a muffin? We don't want to toss in an egg and milk some fruit and god forbid get a bowl dirty?

I realize that I am not the norm anymore but I think that there is a reason that most of this country is overweight... and it started when convenience foods and frozen pre-made foods became the normal meal in this country.

We have sold our health for saving time...

Homemade Ginger snaps

2011-09-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

3/4 cup shortening
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup light molasses ( I used regular)
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger

Preheat oven to 350

Cream together the shortening and brown sugar. Stir in the egg and molasses... yes it smells... you will like them I promise! ... mix well. Fold in the dry ingredients and stir. Cover and chill until firm. 1-2 hours.

Roll dough into small balls... I have a little scoop that I use... and roll them in sugar. Place on cookie sheet that is lined with parchment paper.

Bake 9-10 minutes. Leave on cookie sheet one minute until set then remove to wire racks to cool completely.

These are sooo good y'all!

Apple Butter (crockpot)

2011-09-28T15:44:00.000-05:00

5 1/2 pounds (approx. 15-16 cups) of baking apples – peeled, cored and finely chopped
2 to 2 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt

Directions:

Peel and slice apples to equal 15 to 16 cups. Finely chop apples and add to crock pot. A food processor would have been good here but *gasp* can you believe I don’t have one??? Instead I chopped by hand.

Stir together sugar, cinnamon, cloves and salt and pour over chopped apples.

Mix together apples and sugar mixture. Cover and heat on high for 1 to 2 hours. Stir and reduce heat to low.

Cook an additional 9 to 11 hours or until thick and dark brown, stirring occasionally.

To reduce the amount of chunks, stir with a whisk but don’t use wire as shown. (I left quite a few marks on my crock pot doing that!) A silicone whisk or hand held blender would work great.

Remove cover off crock pot and cook an additional 3-6 hours or until the mixture is a dark brown and is thick. To test for the right consistency, place a little onto a plate or bowl and allow it to cool. If the mixture stays mounded and doesn’t get watery around the edges you know it is ready!

Good Baking Apples for Apple Butter

Jonathan, Cortland, MacIntosh, Fuji, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious and Winesap apples are perfect choices. All will produce a deliciously sweet apple butter but just about any baking apple will do. Feel free to experiment with using a combination of apple varieties. Just do not use Red Delicious as they are for eating only.

Banana bread

2011-09-27T15:32:00.000-05:00

This recipe has no nuts!

Preheat oven to 350

3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 cup of butter, melted
1 but of sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups of flour

You don't need a mixer for this one. Mix the butter and bananas together in a large bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg and vanilla. Sprinkle the salt and baking soda over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last and mix. Pour into a greased loaf pan and cook for 1 hour!

Enjoy!

A short egg primer

2011-09-27T07:25:00.001-05:00

People sometimes assume that a brown egg is a better egg. Not necessarily true.

Egg color is determined by the BREED of hen. I have 5 hens, and get 3 brown, one greenish white, and one a light blue.

Even with the 3 brown eggs there are variations. I have said I can tell which hen laid what egg.... that is true BUT I have two that are the same and so their eggs are pretty much identical. They are a light brown with darker tiny speckles and the other brown one is solid colored and a medium brown. Since BitC lays the medium brown egg that is how I knew SHE was the one that was leading a life of crime!

The reason that the eggs in store are white is the breed that they use for laying is a very prolific layer.

Free range chickens lay tasty eggs lol. Free range means they are allowed to eat bugs and etc... not just feed. Mine get feed but also scraps from the house and whatever they can turn up in Chickmo. A particular delicacy for the hen seems to be grasshoppers, and watching them catch them is a fun time!

A distressed hen will lay an egg with NO SHELL. If a predator is around and they are scared they will do this or have very thin shells or stop all together.

Another reason for thin shells is lack of oyster shell or calcium in their diet. This makes it easier to break them while they are in your pocket...

A hen will go through stages of not laying... a resting time, then pick it back up. They will not lay while molting.

Gathering eggs daily is important because they WILL eat the eggs if they are prone to that and they WILL turn broody. That means they will try to hatch them... even if there isn't a rooster in site! They WILL also turn broody on their own and HIDE their eggs from you!

It is best to NOT wash the eggs. They are laid with a protective coating on them that keeps them fresh and they do not even have to be refrigerated.

One last thing....

If you have trouble peeling boiled eggs... you know the shell sticks and the egg looks all chewed up when you are done. It is because they are too FRESH. If you know you are going to say make deviled eggs and you want pretty eggs... buy them or set them aside a few days before you boil them, they will peel perfectly.

Soft Pumpkin Cookies

2011-09-26T15:15:00.002-05:00

Preheat oven to 250.

2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter (1 stick) softened
1 cup of pumpkin puree
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla

Glaze
2 cups powdered sugar
3 tbsp milk
1 tbsp melted butter
1 tsp vanilla

Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt in a medium bowl. Beat sugar and butter in larger mixer bowl until well blended. Beat in the pumpkin, egg and vanilla until smooth. Gradually beat in the dry ingredients.

Drop by rounded tablespoon on to prepared cookie sheets... I ALWAYS ALWAYS use parchment paper... it makes for better and prettier cookies and less mess.

Bake for 15-18 minutes or until the edges are firm. Cooking on cookie sheet for two minutes then move to wire racks to cook completely.

Drizzle the glaze over the cookies.

Enjoy!

Monarch

2011-09-24T07:40:00.000-05:00

My favorite picture of the day

2011-09-23T17:38:00.002-05:00

The monarchs are headed through on the way to Mexico... so incredibly beautiful.

It's time

2011-09-22T16:18:00.001-05:00

It is time to step back.

I always thought that by making my life open that I would make people feel less alone. I thought if I shared my experiences and my thoughts that it might help someone. I thought I was doing a good thing for both myself and others in similar situations.

I guess I didn't take into account that people might look at me differently.

So the sharing is going to stop. IF and that is a big IF I post anymore it will be pictures, recipes or quilts... that sort of thing.

Perhaps those that suffer in silence are right after all.

Pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing

2011-09-22T07:08:00.002-05:00

2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
4 eggs, beaten
1- 16 oz. can pumpkin
1 1/3 cup sugar
1 cup cooking oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

4 eggs in a bowl, whip them up with a fork!

Put eggs in a large mixing bowl and add the pumpkin

Sugar...

and oil... YES a WHOLE CUP!

Stir is up good!

Then add the flour

Cinnamon

baking soda

salt

and baking powder mix it all together

Spread in a pan

bake 25-35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean
2.5 cups powdered sugar
8 oz cream cheese
1 tsp vanilla
1 stick of butter at room temperature

toss the cream cheese and butter in the mixer and beat about 3 minutes until it is well combined

add the vanilla

and powdered sugar a bit at a time

until it is all creamy... this is GOOD stuff!

Frost the cooled cake

YUMMY... seriously...

Quick Chicken Salad

2011-09-21T13:25:00.001-05:00

Another recipe I found on Pinterest!

2 ( 12.5 oz) cans of chicken (or 3 cups diced cooked chicken)
3/4 cup light mayonnaise (I used the ALL FAT version lol)
1 cup red grapes, halved
1 green onion, diced
1 stalk celery, diced
1/2 cup diced apple
salt and pepper to taste
pecans or cashews, optional

Drain the chicken, and if you like break it up a bit with a fork

Now I wanted walnuts... I don't like big chunky so mine are ground pretty small.

Add all your goodies to the chicken, yep the apples are turning on me... they are fine if they do it is just a reaction to air. I chopped them first without thinking.

Add the mayonnaise, salt and pepper.

Stir it all up!

I served it on a nice little croissant. Ya'll this is sooo good. I am talking eat it three times a day good!

Enjoy!

Honey pound cake with strawberry sauce

2011-09-19T14:04:00.001-05:00

I found the recipe for the cake on Pinterest... if you don't have Pinterest DON'T get it! your life will no longer belong to you.... lol

You are going to need:

1 cup(s) (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 1/3 cup(s) sugar
1/4 cup(s) honey
5 large eggs (yep those are from CHICKMO)
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
1 3/4 cup(s) flour, sifted
1 teaspoon(s) baking powder
1/2 teaspoon(s) salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In the mixing bowl put your softened butter

Sugar

and honey... and let it beat until fluffy ... about 3 minutes

While that is in the mixer... you want to grease your pan. I KNOW you all don't even KNOW what Crisco IS. I think they have outlawed it.. but I have some and nothing greases a pan better.

If you use a bundt pan make sure that you get all the ripples!

Back to the mixer... after three minutes or so it should look like this!

You are going to add your eggs one at a time... now ... this may or may not have been when the eggshell incident happened... I am not saying BUT I had to start back at the beginning of this... that is ALL I am going to say.

While the eggs are getting mixed in, in another bowl measure your flour and add the salt

and baking powder

take a fork and give it a stir

Add the vanilla to the batter in the mixer....
The SLOWLY... trust me... SLOWLY add the flour mixture

Mix until all blended. Let me tell you the batter is out of this world!

it is thick so spoon it into your greased pan... and cook for 1 hours and 15 minutes!

SMELLS GOOD!

Turned out quite pretty I think

So now while it cools I took some thawed strawberries and cut them into chunks

LOVE my magic bullet (BEHAVE)

Added about oh 1/4 cup of sugar

Blended it all up to a sauce...

Anyone want some??

Limits

2011-09-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

I have never been good at knowing my limits... or rather staying within them.

I have always looked at things and said can do that! It doesn't matter if it is something physical or a skill or talent. I just always figured that I would simply learn how to do it and that would be that. I admit that I get frustrated with people that say... oh, I could never do that. Well why not?? I can, and if I can then of course you can!

The thing about that is... first you make them feel bad, second you diminish your own talents or hard won skills. You worked hard for the skills why do you think that someone that didn't should be able to do it as good as you?

I just can't accept that there are things I can't do ... do can't do as well as others. It makes me crazy.

You know, most skills can be learned. However there are somethings that you either have or you don't.

It is the talents I don't possess that bug me lol

As I stated in the last blog I want to be more into decorating my home and I just don't have that gene. I look at these great blogs all the time and while yeah I can most likely COPY what they did.... I could never think up that stuff on my own!

I realized today though that if they weren't talented at it they wouldn't be posting it. I am envious of people that at the top of the game, not the average woman.

The fact is that like it or not there are limits in my life. There are physical, emotional and talent limits in my life... I need to be ok with them. I don't HAVE to do EVERYTHING.

Sigh... I don't like this much

But I want THAT!

2011-09-16T01:51:00.001-05:00

Why is it we always want what we don't have?

Just watch little kids playing ... they ALL want the same toy! There can be an entire toy box of things to play with and yet that one toy is the one they fight over.

I have many "toys" in my toy box. My toys I am mean skills or talents. I can sew, quilt, cook, bake, fight chickens, and even write a little. I can sing, I can track down relatives that lived hundreds of years ago in other countries. I can crochet, I can cross stitch, and sometimes I am pretty good with a camera.

Yet...

I can not decorate my house like others do.

You think ... no big deal. So what. Well, maybe.

I look at blogs of these women that make their homes so pretty and I am so jealous! My mother was someone that decorated to EXCESS. We used to joke and say that we couldn't take anything off the walls because then the paneling would fall... meaning all her nails were holding up the pictures and the paneling.

Maybe that is why it never interested me. It was a way to distance myself. Even now when I think of doing something to my house it is as far away from her tastes as I can get. Yet, the cooking "gene" came from her and I certain embrace that. Shrug

When people talk about decorating for fall or Christmas I am envious! To be honest I have never REALLY tried. I moved in here almost 11 years ago... hung things on the wall, put things where I wanted them and that was that. Now I feel a little...

Discontent? I want my house to be more than where I keep my stuff... if that makes sense.

I don't know, maybe I just need to do some fall cleaning sigh...

Forgiveness for the eleventy millionth time

2011-09-12T19:13:00.001-05:00

Forgiveness is a constant struggle for me.

See you always see forgive and forget. I can not forget and frankly I don't think anyone but God CAN. Does that negate forgiveness if you can't forget the hurt?

This is how Websters defines forgive

To cease to feel resentment against, on account of wrong committed; to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon (an offender); to absolve; to pardon; - said of the person offending.

I am not sure that I can agree with this either. To pardon a person means to act like nothing ever happened. I don't think that the average person can do that. There is no way to undo somethings, they change us forever. I don't think that you have to deny how you feel, but I think you don't let it rule you.

So what IS forgiveness? I think about that a lot.

This is what I have come up with. If I forgive someone I am giving up allowing THEIR actions, words, or evil take a hold of me. I am saying I WILL NOT let what THEY did make ME act in a way that I don't like.

Forgiveness is for ME. It isn't for them, I can promise you that this bothers me more than it does them.

We are called to forgive but not to forget. We are called to forgive repeatedly, every time you don't give in and let it control you... you forgive. We ARE told to not dwell on things that cause us to sin and we are told to be happy.

In the end God gave us feelings. I sometimes wish he hadn't, seems life would be easier. He became human and felt all of our emotions and if anyone understands the price of forgiveness it is Him.

I just am deciding that it is ok to forgive a person and not allow them to continue to hurt you in the past or the present. OR to let it make me hurt MYSELF!

I am not allowing anyone elses choices affect mine.

This is a forgiveness I can live up to.... I think.

Changes at Chickmo

2011-09-10T18:52:00.001-05:00

This is BitC the source of all my trouble! The other one is Rizzo. Since this last week or so has tried my patience... especially today after she attacked Peeper, a new living situation was needed. Peeper has been living in a large geodesic dome... it is big enough for the other 4 so they will live there now and will not be allowed to roam. The dome is easily moved and will be moved as needed. Peeper gets a new home!

Cutting the wood! These are the middle pieces.

The long sides and the wire...have I mentioned that chicken wire is a PAIN IN THE BUTT... and that I HATE IT??? ok I did? oh ok sorry

The frame ...

All done, covered with wire and the food and water are in there... see Peeper and her new roost? I haven't yet moved her little house in there but will before dark.

There is the door opened that allows me to feed and water her... she seems happy in there. So now we see what happens with the hens in the dome... stay tuned.

Chickmo Chronicle

2011-09-07T18:48:00.001-05:00

So today I received a notice from the CCLU ... the Chicken Civil Liberties Union... apparently I am not granting them exercise time. So they filed suit.... and gave notice of impending strike. They also apparently do not like the food and are demanding grasshoppers and other bugs.

Hmm, ok.

So this was the plan... I would wait until after they lay THEN let them out to exercise. I checked the house at noon... no eggs. So they were told no eggs... so exercise. Such language... and threats.Scared me! "peck your toes!" "poop on your deck!"

Checked again at 3 and there were two eggs... so half compliance. I let them out watching to see if BitC, the ringleader, headed for the scene of the crime. She didn't.... which is a worry too because neither of those two eggs where hers! I see her later poking around back there but I have things to do and go inside.

At 5:45 I went out to put them back in the cell.. I mean coop and there was another egg in the house. Someone is getting the picture! However, again it is NOT BitC! GRRR! I look in the old spot and there are no eggs at all.

I am starting to think that she is just saving them up now. No eggs in a couple of days now.. I hear her mumble if I can't lay them where I want I just won't lay at ALL! HA!

I figure one day I will let her out and later find a dozen of her eggs in that same spot!

Looking at BitC pot pie recipes...

Me and Mati

2011-09-06T19:33:00.000-05:00

Me and Mati went to the zoo today... see she bought me this awesome hat!

Then we rode a Train!!!

I wrestled the alligator!

Found a really big boxing mouse!

And met Dumbo!

What a GREAT day! Can't wait to go back!

PAROLE DENIED!

2011-09-05T19:34:00.001-05:00

Ok so today has been... interesting. Yesterday the hens stayed in the coop all day and I got three eggs laid in the hen house.

Yesterday I broke all the eggs that were there and left them there and was told they wouldn't lay there anymore. Sadly, no one told the hens....

Today about 2 I decided to let them out for a few hours. BitC made a B LINE for the spot... clucking like crazy. She got right down in there and started to settle in, so I got a stick and ran her out and then I covered the spot so she couldn't get to it.

I was out taking pictures in the yard and keeping an eye on her. She was MAD... have you ever HEARD a MAD hen?! OMGOODNESS ..... wow Chicken cussing @%&(#^%!

I found her AGAIN down there as close as she could get to it and I ran her out AGAIN ... again ^$#&!%*. I went in the house and let her throw her fit...

A couple hours later I go out to put them up... and I look down there and YEP there is an egg! GRRR!!! THEN when I was putting them in the coop there was an egg on the GROUND in the COOP but not in the house!

I picked them up and put them in my pocket as I usually do. I decided to use the lops to prune a tree by the porch when I lost control of the lops... and it hit my pocket.... which broke one of the eggs. I reached into my pocket to scoop it out before it got too gross... and I tossed it into the yard... and it landed in the lawn mower seat and TRULY exploded!

Came in threw my clothes in the washer and am planning to reenforce Chickmo... for their extended stay! Thinking razor wire and a guard tower....PAROLE DENIED!

Tales of woe from Chickmo

2011-09-04T03:02:00.003-05:00

This summer the hens have been on a down hill slide. They have allowed their evil side to take over!

They have a little coop and a little house that they are supposed to lay eggs in... and they used to. A few weeks ago the eggs in the house started to taper off, since it has been a record breaking hot summer I did some research and found that the heat can cause this and frankly I just took it at that.

See I go out every morning and I let my hens out of the coop... they are free to run around the property and eat all the bugs and grass etc that their hearts desire. In fact when the door opens in the morning they are all clucking and carrying on to get out of the coop. They act like they are prison detainees.

Earlier in the summer one of my hens got broody, that means that she wanted to hatch her eggs. It is instinct, but impossible for my hens as there is NO ROOSTER here! None the less she didn't want to give the eggs up. I thought I had broken her from it but I am not sure now.

The ring leader started to spend time in a little place that is hard to get to up next to the deck. Yesterday morning she was clucking and carrying on because I was late letting them out and she made a b line for that spot. I was busy taking in groceries so I didn't give it a ton of thought....

Until it was time to put them up....

I got down on my hands and knees and looked down there where she went and found about 8 eggs! Three of my hens lay brown eggs... I can tell them apart by looking at them, and the other one lays white/green eggs. Since there was a mixture of the eggs I can see this has been the favored place for at least 4 days as there are 4 of the white/green eggs there!

I didn't remove the eggs because frankly earlier yesterday I met up with a 4 foot rattle snake and didn't want to risk isn't relatives having come to visit me. Those snakes might LIKE little chicken eggs and that might be their favorite eating spot!

A friend on facebook told me to leave the eggs but to break them that they would stop laying there. I will do that today, but I figure they will only find another spot.... I can't figure out why they don't want to lay in their little house all the sudden.

So I am hoping to retrain them or something by making them stay in the coop for a few days or at least the first part of the day when they seem to lay.

So they will be singing the poor poor pitiful me song from the confines of Chickmo for the foreseeable future... a parole hearing will be scheduled when behavior improves.

The many faces of Wyatt

2011-08-30T16:24:00.002-05:00

The Mighty Thor!

Captain America!

Captain Black Jack Sparrow!

So sweet

2011-08-30T07:42:00.001-05:00

Texas in August 2011

2011-08-25T10:37:00.006-05:00

The most precious baby boy ever!

2011-08-13T16:24:00.003-05:00

Hey Mati!

If you are going to get the camera out again I am going to hide....

I don't know WHY you want so many pictures of me!

How YOU doin'?

Really... my hair is a MESS!

Stop scaring me dangit! See my little fang???

Dry, dead and dusty Texas

2011-08-11T17:27:00.004-05:00

Grandma's hands

2011-08-11T08:33:00.002-05:00

I don't often pass on emails or things of that nature, but this spoke to me this morning.

I have always hated my hands. They are bony and veiny and not at all feminine. They are in fact my mother's hands and that alone is a busload of issues...

However this email hit me in the heart and I sit here and look at these hands of mine in a new light. Enjoy. Special thanks to Sheila for this email!

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence. The longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head, looked at me and smiled 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear voice strong.

'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands. I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained.

'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean really looked at your hands?'

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shrivelled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

'They braced and caught my fall as a toddler. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

'They have been dirty, scraped, raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse. They have held my children, grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky, wet, bent, broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of God.'

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember when God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children or husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

OUT OUT OUT!

2011-08-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

I have to tell you that I have let negativity filter into my life.

I see dark thunder clouds everywhere!

I assume that things will go bad...

I look at the weather and the state of the world and I let it drag me down.

I have lost sight of the fact that I am in control of how *I* see things! I can not control much of anything in this world... and believe me that BUGS ME ... a lot! I want things to always be good, but so does everyone else! When they don't go well ... I just let it beat me down.

The fact is that I don't have to be there, oh I have to be in a world or situations I don't like, but I don't have to live in a storm shelter!

There is so much power in the mind! It effects how you feel, both mentally and physically. I have been feeling pretty bad in both cases lately.

Time to make some changes... and to come up out of the storm cellar and enjoy my world!

Pictures

2011-08-04T15:12:00.003-05:00

I have been looking through some of my pictures and adding the verses that come to me when I look at them. I hope you enjoy them.

Scenes from my yard...

2011-07-25T10:55:00.005-05:00

I took my camera out this morning before it got too hot and just walked around the yard and looked at God's amazing world. Want a peek at what I saw?

Looks like a face, as a friend pointed out looks like a lion! RAWR!!!

Mollie wants a kiss!
Shadows and light...
Red the wild hussy hen...
The laciness of the leaf skeleton is just amazing.
No clue what those are but they were tiny and neat.
Leaves that are gathered in the curve of the tree trunk
Happy Little Sunflower!
Red again... apparently she is a camera diva too!
The only know photo of a real chicken actually doing the chicken dance!
A Texas Spiny Lizard... it scared the hens! lol and well me too a little bit it is about a ft long with tail!
Life and death...
Tail tale sign of a hen at play....

Shocking

2011-07-23T15:15:00.002-05:00

So 27 year old Amy Winehouse was found dead. People are SHOCKED. REALLY?!

The last few years the pictures of her have shown her decline, it showed on her body. She abused drugs and alcohol and yet when she finally dies of it people are SHOCKED?

Why do you suppose that is?

When are equally SHOCKED when the person that eats fried foods all the time dies of a heart attack. "Oh, I tell you he just dropped dead with no warning!" really? There was no warning at all??

The smoker that gets cancer ... simply shocking I tell you!

The person that has diabetes and doesn't treat it then ... OMG he had to have his leg removed! Simply SHOCKING!

What is wrong with us?!

We see what people are doing to themselves and yes, what we are doing to OURSELVES and yet when something bad happens we are SHOCKED!

How??? How can we still think that we can do self destructive things and not suffer the consequences?!

It is NOT shocking, it was coming all along, and to tell you the truth so many of us are on borrowed time that no one should be SHOCKED!

Whatever

2011-07-22T15:16:00.004-05:00

The last few days I haven't felt right. I physically don't feel good and I am just generally down.

I want to sleep all the time and read and just be left alone I guess. Not sure what is going on.

I am bruising like crazy, as bad as I ever have. Big black bruises that I don't know how I got.

I know that I need to focus on the good things to feel better but the things that usually pull me out are just not appealing to me right now.

I usually go take pictures because being out and seeing nature centers me, but you know when it is 105 degrees every day you just don't want to do it.

I thought of sewing a new quilt or a new sundress... but I can't seem to get any enthusiasm up for it.

I guess I just want to whine.

Sigh...

The Chicken Chronicles Espisode 2

2011-07-19T06:26:00.003-05:00

The last time we left a very unhappy want to be mommy BitC. Well she left the little nesting house and went about her business... or so she wanted me to believe.

The other hens being fearful of her wrath and fully puffed up plumage had stopped laying eggs... so I guess....

Yesterday, as they were being herded to their their prison (the coop) only the non threatening ones were to be found.

The fourth, the sneaky mommy want to be was missing. An all out search was conducted. She suddenly appeared acting as if nothing were amiss. She went docilely to her prison cell.

During the search an egg was found in an usual place! It was still VERY warm... as if just recently laid....

A check of the nesting box showed only one other egg for the day.

Today another search will be conducted to see if more eggs are to be found out of the expected area....

The afore mentioned BitC will be on limited release until further notice. The remaining chickens will hopefully begin to again feel safe in their homes... free to lay the eggs that they give me as a daily present.

Until next time, this is ... The Chicken Chronicles.

The feet on the Wyatt go round and round

2011-07-18T18:44:00.002-05:00

In jail and on the chain gang...

2011-07-18T11:20:00.002-05:00

Mishmash

2011-07-16T10:41:00.002-05:00

So lets see....
Day 4 gluten....
Salad.... lettuce, tomato, roasted chicken, bacon and cheese with ranch dressing
baked potato .... sour cream, butter, cheese and bacon bits
junior mints
Corn tortilla chips, taco meat, cheese tomatoes
Fresh blueberries
Crackers and peanut butter! NO!!!!!! NOO!!!!!

Not one of my better food days... I slept late and didn't eat breakfast and as you can see the dreaded peppermint patties got me again.

This morning I feel blah. I don't know if it is the crackers or not. I really think the thing that is getting me is those darn peppermint patties! I have to STOP THE SUGAR. My hips hurt really bad today... no idea if it wheat related or not..

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Ok, while the last few blogs needed to be done, and I stand by them absolutely ... I have to get back to a more focused and thankful existence. When I focus on others and the world it is too easy for me to get upset and unhappy... so refocusing....

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One of my hens has gone broody on me. That means she wants to hatch babies. The trouble with that is... I don't have a rooster so that isn't going to happen! No I do NOT want a rooster. YES, I know chicks are darling but I still don't want them. They would be eaten by something and it would KILL me, and while I raised Peeper inside I really don't want to do that again.

BitC ... the broody one wouldn't leave her nesting box... and after a couple of days I moved her to get the eggs.... well she puffed up her feathers and PECKED me! I took the eggs and then she left the box. I am hoping that if I don't let the eggs stay in there long that she will get the hint. The other hens are intimidated by her in there and are either laying elsewhere or not laying at all.

So the soap opera that is my chicken coop is ongoing....

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Baby Wyatt has a tooth!

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Guess that is it for now....

Reasons why,,,

2011-07-15T13:29:00.002-05:00

I did a blog yesterday about things that we do that we think are ok, but that are contrary to God's will.

It sometimes seems to people that God doesn't want you to do anything fun, or things that you like.

The thing is that He has his reasons. Most of the things we want to do damage the body that He gave us. We are supposed to use our body as a temple. So when we overeat, drink, smoke, do drugs, practice promiscuity, or do reckless things then we are harming ourselves.

Not only do these things harm our bodies but it messes with our heads. We were not meant to participate in so many worldly things. There are things that cloud our thinking, some that make us hate ourselves and thus give us low self esteem. When we are in inappropriate relationships we form unhealthy bonds that cause us to see from a skewed angel.

As I has said before so many of these behaviors then cause others pain. Pain they didn't ask for or deserve.

Sometimes it is easier to see... for instance... when a person had leprosy they were to live separately and even wear a bell and shout unclean. Was God just being mean? No he was telling them that this was something that would HURT them.

So when things that we do cause us harm or others harm it SHOULD be easy to see why God doesn't want us to do it.

So while God doesn't want us to do certain things... He has his reasons.

Day 3 Gluten free

2011-07-15T13:23:00.003-05:00

breakfast - scrambled eggs, bacon pieces and cheddar cheese
snack - Banana
lunch - baked potato with butter and sour cream and chili (wendy's)
snack - york peppermint patty... yep I know BAD! but no gluten...
supper - Rice pilaf with chicken breast and broccoli with butter
snack - Frozen Popsicle ... the kind you freeze yourself in those tubes

The day started out with me feeling GREAT... I cleaned house, did laundry and shopped. I took a nap after the peppermint patty and I woke up with a terrible headache and neck pain. Obviously it wasn't gluten related.

I am sleeping good. I can't say I hurt in my joint more or less but again it has only been 3 days.

Their are those that are saying to go dairy free too. To be honest I don't think I can. As you can see I rely heavily on cheese and eggs for protein. I do not tolerate milk well at all so I don't drink it. I have trouble with meats at times so... like I said unless they are seriously hurting me, and I don't think they are, I really can't cut them out.

On to day 4...

Everything is NOT Ok!

2011-07-14T07:33:00.002-05:00

Ok, this blog is probably not going to be popular. That's fine.

See I have been thinking a while about this old world we live in.

I understand that not everyone is a Christian, but I like to think that most people have some sort of moral compass. I also know that each persons idea of right and wrong is their own.

This is the deal. It doesn't matter what YOUR idea of right and wrong is. It matters what God's idea is. See God made us, bought us and He is the one that makes the rules. This is not a democracy. Sorry I know lots of people don't like that.... tough its the truth.

Now everyone wants to do whatever they want to do and for it to me accepted and legal and on and on. The thing is this. Like it or not the laws our country passes are a reflection on this country as a whole. This is nb longer a CHRISTIAN nation... when it continues to pass laws that make it legal and ok to do things that are contrary to God's word!

We condone killing babies, all sorts of sexual deviation, abuse of others and our own bodies. These are the sort of things that our country condones! Everyone says... well it's MY body, it's MY life, it is MY rights.

Sorry, it's not.

Yes, God gave you free will, but that does NOT mean that whatever you do is OK with him! Please reread that!

It is NOT ok that we eat too much, drink too much, smoke too much, have abortions, and any thing else that the Bible tells us is offensive to God.

Will he forgive us? Yes, but you know when you repent, you are supposed to turn away from that behavior! Not simply say God please forgive me for this or that and then continue on with it.

We have made our lawmaker gods... and look what they have done to this country. We have made ourselves gods... and look at the average person!

We are doing horrible job of being God... something to think about!

Day 2 and the Fox biscuit!

2011-07-13T19:05:00.002-05:00

Breakfast - scrambled eggs, bacon pieces and cheddar cheese with hash browns only kept down part of it.
snack - nectarine
lunch - 1/3 California roll... crab, rice, nori, avocado and cucumber
snack -Bisquick gluten free biscuit with grape jelly
snack - re-fried beans and cheese (taco bell)
supper - pinto beans and chicken

That is today's food list.

I don't feel as good as yesterday but I was very busy and so I think it is just external issues. I haven't noticed any lessening of joint pain but I think that will take some time. Clear thoughts and no headache. I won't blame locking myself out of the house for the second time in two weeks on this!

Again easy on the tummy. The breakfast issue was from something being lodged.

I should have skipped the jelly but I wanted something sweet.

Last night right before bed time my blood sugar fell. FAST. I can only guess the rice spaghetti spiked my blood sugar and then I crashed. I ate some tic tacs and all was well.

Side note... to help you understand the FOX biscuits. One time my mother and I were looking a couch and she just loved that FOX LEATHER COUCH! I was so confused until I realized she meant FAUX! She thought it was pronounced FOX!

So the FOX biscuits are the bisquick gluten free. First off the mix is expensive. There is about 3 cups of mix and the recipe called for 2 cups of it. The recipe made 10 biscuits! I will leave you to do the math.

If you are looking for an exact copy ... keep looking. It is a decent replacement. The texture is different, almost like a biscuit and corn muffin cross. They are crumbly. The taste is good, NOT what you get with regular but still tasty.

I doubt I will buy and use this much. It isn't worth it to me. At this point I don't miss bread that much.

So that is how day 2 went. On to day 3!

You have the right to....

2011-07-13T06:56:00.003-05:00

Everyone screams about their rights. In this country we are supposed to have lots of them.

I have lots of opinions about rights.

Why is it that the ones that scream the loudest about THEIR rights are the ones that want something that takes away the rights of someone else?

I have a tough time because see I don't think that the government needs to be regulating anyone's rights. Yet most people are so selfish and self centered that there is little protection for the general public. Sadly, those people even ignore the laws that are set up to protect others.

See people want to be able to drink. Ok, I have absolutely NO issue with this. I DO have an issue with the ones that drink and then drive and hurt and kill people. They ignore the the rights of others so they can have their rights!

The smoker... they want to smoke... well ok. They want the right to kill themselves slowly, I can even say... well ok that is their choice. I wouldn't care IF ... IF it stopped there. It doesn't. See the second hand smoke takes away MY right to fresh and healthy air! IF they have insurance or are rich enough to pay for the health care they will need great, otherwise it takes MY money to take care of them! Again where are MY rights?!

There are the ones that want the right to have an abortion. The is one is a no brainer for me. Doesn't this take away the right of that baby to LIVE? I don't care if you justify your horrible actions by telling yourself it isn't alive yet... it is and you are killing it.

I am sorry, I am a bit worked up this morning.

You know it is easy to say... if you don't like it don't do it. I agree, I don't like smoking so I don't do it. Yet for 18 years I had to inhale second hand smoke every waking moment! For years I couldn't eat in a restaurant without inhaling smoke. To this day I inhale a lung full when I go into some stores because smokers smoke right up to the last step going into a building or congregate outside the door and smoke!

You want YOUR rights... but where are MINE!

Day one thoughts

2011-07-12T18:50:00.002-05:00

I did my shopping this morning.. and decided to try a few of the gluten free products. I got all purpose baking flour, Bisquick, mac and cheese regular and Alfredo, pizza crust mix and two types of pasta noodles.

The rest of the stuff I will eat is simply normal stuff that I always eat.

I figure that I will share my diet for the day.

Breakfast was scrambled eggs sprinkled with shredded cheese
Snack was Apple slices and caramel dip
Lunch was Chicken breast and steamed mixed veggies
Snack was banana
Supper was Rice spaghetti with sauce and hamburger
Dessert was sugar free peach jello with peaches

Totally easy and tasty.

I felt good today, could be that I got a little rest. I do think though that the diet is at least in part the reason I feel better. I know it is just the first day and could be a fluke but the there are differences in how I feel today.

I usually have digestion issues, bloating, etc... I will spare you the details. I have had NONE of that today. NO tummy issues at ALL! YAY! My thinking is clearer. I don't have any headache. I don't feel draggy and I didn't have those spells of exhaustion during the day.

Again, only the first day... but if I feel this good every day then it is worth it.

I want to tell you that the rice spaghetti was VERY GOOD! I could not tell it from regular pasta. It is a little more expensive but as I said if I continue to feel better I don't mind the cost.

On to day two... I am still reading the book to learn more about this, and I will continue to share.

So it begins....

2011-07-12T07:55:00.002-05:00

I am starting today to cut out as much wheat and gluten as possible. I was happy to find that Walmart has a decent section of gluten free products so I can still have the things I like. I plan to slowly try them all.

I got up this morning and after a bit started to get hungry and I won't lie I WANTED toast! Butter and jam covered toast! I know that it will take a few days for those feelings to abate.

I scrambled some eggs and sprinkled them with shredded cheddar cheese and it was good.

I also know that this breakfast is just more nutritionally sound. It won't spike my blood sugar and I won't be hungry again in an hour. I also won't crash and be exhausted in an hour.

This is the perfect time to start this... as I feel like I am pretty much at the bottom of my energy. I feel like crapola most of the time.... so if I start to feel better in a few days it will be easy to see where it came from.

I will try to share the things that I learn. Again, I do not to my knowledge have Celiac's disease. I have not been diagnosed with anything related to wheat allergies or sensitivity. I simply noticed that I have some of the symptoms of these things. I figure if a dietary change and help them then why not? It is not a dangerous thing for me to try.

Wheat sensitivity

2011-07-10T08:47:00.002-05:00

I have been reading about wheat sensitivity lately. Even Celiac's Disease. I don't believe I have Celiac's disease (intolerance of gluten), however I do have many of the symptoms of wheat sensitivity.

Bloating
Constipation
Diarrhea
Skin problems (dermatitis herpetiformis)
Pale, foul-smelling stool
Fatty stool (steatorrhea)
Depression
Anxiety
Joint pain
Chronic fatigue
Bloating
Weight loss
Iron deficiency (anemia)
Malnutrition
Tingling in the hands and feet
Fertility problems and missed periods
Canker sores in the mouth

While I don't have them all and yes I know that many of those symptoms could be anything, I do think that maybe wheat contributes to mine.

Now for the first 3-4 years after the surgery I just didn't eat bread at all and well really anything that was baked, so my gluten/wheat intake was much lower and I DID feel better then. I slowly started to add in more wheat based products, and well here I am.

For me I know that bread is pretty much a waste of space in my stomach but I still eat it because well it TASTES good. I also have trouble with some meats and I turn to pasta.. so you can see the culprits in my diet.

It is easy to equate gluten/wheat to carbs... but they are not the same. For instance rice is gluten and wheat free but has lots of carbs, same with fruits, and potatoes... so it's not like the Adkin's diet.

Most all the people that I have read about that cut out wheat feel so much better. It usually takes about 3 days before you start to feel a difference.

I am not planning to go gluten free. I just don't think I need to go that far. I think that wheat does aggravate things but I don't think I am intolerant of it. Plus those that know me know I will just get obsessive about it, and I don't need that.

So on Wednesday of next week I am cutting as much wheat products out of my life as possible and see what happens. I know ... so why wait? Well Tuesday is my shopping day and I need to finish up some of the food here.

I will keep you posted here and let you know how it goes.

Thoughts on faith

2011-07-09T11:53:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking about faith a lot lately.

I have come to accept that there are not to be answers here for some things in my life. I will never understand why things happen. In a world of instant information and scientific knowledge it isn't always easy.

See faith isn't about blindly believing what you are told. Faith is about believing that some day you will have your answers, or whatever was so important here will no longer be.

It is kind of like this.

I wonder, will I have relationships with the same people in Heaven that I have here? There are two answers as far as I am concerned. One, yes I will and all is well. 2. No, I will know everyone but in the same way. I will see Samantha and love her but we will not have a mother daughter relationship. I believe that if it is the second then that will be how it is meant to be and my thinking at that point will know no difference. I will not mourn the loss of that mother daughter relationship. Again all is well.

So many things that we try to understand with our finite minds... we CAN NOT comprehend eternity. While we are eternal beings, we are still bound by human thinking and human emotions. The only way to be able to understand and comprehend things is to be transformed.

It takes faith to say "God, I don't know how all this is going to work or why it happened, but I know that in Heaven it will all be OK." It takes someone strong.

For me, I like to know what is going on and I like to be in control, so having faith is a daily exercise for me.

I find it ironic that often religious people are referred to as sheep. I shake my head. Have you ever worked in a lab? Do you understand all this scientific stuff? OR do you simply go ok, well that is how it is because this scientist says so. You don't personally have the knowledge to know if it is true or not right?

So how is that different than me saying... I believe this because God said so or because my bible says so?

I guess there are two types of sheep then aren't there? The ones that are bought by Christ's blood and those that aren't...

***** after a bit of thought I realized that EVERYONE is bought by Christ's blood. Even those those that chose to reject him. ***** wanted to clear that up. When Christ died it was for EVERYONE, giving everyone the chance for salvation.

More education

2011-07-07T18:15:00.002-05:00

I have always shared my struggles through the gastric bypass and living my life with the consequences. I do it to teach people what it is and what it isn't. I, of course, have to say that I am one person and what happens to me doesn't necessarily happen to everyone.

I am at my lowest point ever. In the last, I guess maybe 6-7 months, I have lost about 28 pounds. I am not trying. It just is. I figure I have about 15 pounds top before people start thinking I am Skeletor. I am almost thankful for the loose skin at times it helps to pad things and makes me look a little bigger and healthier.

One of the things that isn't talked about much when you hear weight loss surgery is that you aren't eating enough to get all the vitamins and minerals you need. On top of that gastric bypass is a malabsorption surgery and so what I DO eat I only get a part of it.

There are certain things I can not eat. I do not tolerate them at all and that adds to the issue. Milk is one of those things. So as you can imagine Vit D is always an issue for me and I often have to take large doses of that, especially in the winter when the time in the sun is rare. The summer is better BUT I have to worry about burning as well. Did you know that using sunscreen blocks you from making vit D? Yep!

So also with the milk is the calcium. I don't get enough of that and take supplements. It goes without saying I take a good multiple vitamin.

The part of the intestine that is the big iron absorber has been bypassed and so I constantly stay anemic. Iron supplements are hard on the tummy.

I go to the doctor periodically and he does a ton of blood work then we get back a list of the things I am missing.... then I go to the store get whatever I am missing and I take large doses (again, don't absorb them all).

This is something else not talked about... I also do not absorb all of the prescription medinces either. When I am sick I insist on shots. That way I know I am getting it all. I have to have larger doses than I would normally need for my size.

Fatigue is always an issue and is tied to the iron but also I am always deficient in b12. So there are shots or big pills ... again absorption!

I take various other things for bones and joint pain that come from carrying too much weight for so long.

People have asked if I have to take enzymes to digest my food. The answer is no, mine just digests further down into the intestine instead of the stomach.

I do not know if others have the same issues, it seems that others manage to eat more and even enough to regain their weight.

I know that when I had my surgery because I was so large they bypassed a little more than they would someone smaller and I assume that has something to do with all of this.

Anyway, I hope that this helps give you a better picture of one part of the surgery.

the line

2011-07-07T16:33:00.001-05:00

So much on my mind... don't know what to write about most days. Some things are better left unwritten I supposed. I want my words to mean something.... but not to cause upset. It is a fine line indeed.

Saddle up

2011-07-07T10:12:00.003-05:00

I had a rough childhood. I spend a lot of time avoiding thinking about it. I spend a lot of time trying to overcome it.

I talked to a wise person last night... talking about this.

The fact is that is does influence who I am now, that is unavoidable.

It was pointed out that my greatest demon was my past... and that I was waiting for someone to change it and there is no one that can.

Wow... seeing that is print was a slap. A wake up. You know I realized that a part of me was still waiting for the justice fairy to come. It isn't going to happen. Some people in this life just do not get what they deserve. You know I can't even say that if I saw justice that it would help. The effects would still be there.

I know that I can not change the past, none of us can... I wish we could. Still I guess there is a part of me that can not seem to accept it and move on.

I don't spend time dwelling on it, but it was very clear to me how much of it is still in me.

I just need to stop looking for the knight in shining armor on that white horse and saddle up myself and ride forward. I need to not look back....

Changes

2011-07-06T09:47:00.002-05:00

As you can imagine with the reunion in my life lately I have been thinking a lot about change.

Not just in the people there, but in everyone. Change is life, it is inevitable. I do think though that you get to control what that change in YOU is. Oh, I know you can't control aging and sometimes health... that sort of thing. You can however change your daily life and over time I believe you can change your outlook.

I am a cynical person I wish I weren't. I am prone to depression, I wish I weren't.

I have skin issues I wish I didn't. I have thin hair, I wish I didn't.

The difference in the first two is I CAN take steps to change that or at least avoid situations that aggravate them.

The second two are things I really can not control. I can do what I can to manage them but in the end it is what it is and it requires acceptance on my part.

So this is the thing, we have to decide what is in our power to change and what isn't. Not only that, is it important enough to us to do something about it?

The thing that bothers me the most are people that gripe about something about themselves that they hate but won't do anything to change it. It is as if they get some sort of pleasure from being unhappy....

I am not crazy about my arms... they are not very strong. I know how to fix it. Is it something that is important to me enough to change... obviously not. However... you won't find me whining about them.

All purposeful change is hard. I have been through HUGE amounts of change in the last almost 6 years. Some physical and a lot mental. Changing your thought processes is the hardest.

Will I ever look at the world in a less jaded manner... I don't know. It is hard to put a cat back in the bag... but when I DO catch myself thinking those thoughts I recognize it and change the thought.

I know that we are all a work in progress.... I just suggest we chose out projects wisely.

reunion musings

2011-07-05T17:08:00.002-05:00

I am still processing the reunion weekend. I am sure there will be several blog that come out of it as I think through things.

My life is so busy these days I don't have time to blog like I used to but maybe that will change soon.

The weekend wore me out. It makes me sad how little it takes to do that. I have slept a lot since I got home. I also lost 4.5 more pounds... Don't know how as usual.

Anyway I think one of the things that I was a little surprised to see what that I wasn't the only one with an inner 16 year old. People that I always assumed were fearless and self assured said that they too were nervous about how they looked and what others thought. I am not sure why this surprises me but it does.

I was snubbed by one person and it wasn't someone that I even really knew, nor did I really care about. I also think I might have understood where he was coming from. However, he was rude and it was uncalled for.

I looked around and I didn't see cheerleaders or football players. I didn't see band geeks or drama kids. I saw moms and dads, and yep grandparents too! I saw gray hair and wrinkles and I saw that they are just as human as everyone else. It made them beautiful to me.

I briefly thought of having my say a time of two and decided that it wasn't worth it. In the grand scheme of things it just doesn't matter. In the same way that the people weren't the same the issues weren't either. In the room with the REAL and PRESENT them it was silly to think of things that were said or done so many years ago.

I am finding that packing away these old thoughts is easier than I thought it would be and I am thankful for that and for those that talked me into going.

25th reunion

2011-07-04T09:13:00.007-05:00

First off I want to thank everyone that worked so hard to make this happen. Those that donated facilities and time.

Friday night was the initial get together. I was nervous. I had not seen these people in 25 years. I didn't know what to expect. Friday night most everyone seemed to be a bit guarded. We left a little earlier than others to go get some pizza and cruise the drag lol.... it was fun. We also took some time to drive around the town .. at had been at least 15 years since I was through there.... so lots of changes. The high school was being expanded, and there were a lot of new fast food places. Some of the places we loved were gone. The old Lot a burger was gone... BEST burgers ever! We drove by the houses we grew up in... kinda each in our own thought about that.

Saturday was fun. Xalyn, a classmate donated bowling at her bowling alley. Everyone was more relaxed and they brought their kids. There were a few more classmates there on Saturday. A few of us decided to wear our KISS shirts on Saturday lol we had a lot of comments and it was fun.

As a side note... one of our friends, swore he would NEVER wear a KISS shirt and didn't even HAVE one so we saw this little tent on the side of the road in town and wondered if they had one. We stopped in and YES they did! ONE a size large... lol we found out later he wears at size 2xlt. LOL BUT he was a good sport lol he held it up so it LOOKED like he was wearing it!!

Also I had taken a dress to wear to the dinner on Saturday night and I found a little black and purple dress in there, bought it and wore it instead.

Saturday night was so sweet. Amy, Michelle, and I am not sure who else had gone to a lot of trouble to decorate. The tables were set with old books and photo frames with our high school pictures in them! A frame held pictures of the ones we have lost. There was a beautiful cake which was strawberry and vanilla and oh my the strawberry was delicious! And a gorgeous plant with ribbons of our class year too.

The local Mexican food place catered and it was really good!

Robert Patterson donated his family lodge for this and it has a 9 hole golf course on it. I think people just wanted to play with the golf carts lol.

You all know I had reservations about going and 3 sweet friends talked me into it. They were so much fun this weekend. I love them!

My observations.... it didn't take long before people were grouped back in the same cliques as high school although there were a few exceptions ... the ones that crossed the clique lines. That showed me that they had grown up. I try to remember that maybe they are just catching up. I try to remember there is comfort in that. It wasn't a snob thing because ALL the cliques did it. It is just funny. I can honestly say I tried to talk to as many as I remembered.

I often wonder if others still have that 16 year old inside them that comes out when they are around old classmates.

There were some that still live in high school. Yeah we were there to remember those times BUT some never left them.

I will say that I was wrong about those that took over dad's life... they were nice and seemed to be normal. They were generous with what they had.

I don't know if there was a lot of talking and back biting. I decided I didn't care. I just went and acted like me. I think I was happier and I think likely more approachable.

I am a better person now than I was then. I know that many of them could say the same. In fact I saw that they were.

I looked at these people and realized that most of them are just like me. We did stupid things back then, we were 16... that is what 16 year olds do! I decided that that part of my life was a good part.

In the end I am glad I went.

A change of heart

2011-06-27T23:18:00.002-05:00

My life has been stuck on fast forward lately... so I haven't blogged in a while.

I met with a high school classmate last Saturday. I admit that I was nervous but it was nice and I had fun. I am glad I did it.

The last two blogs I wrote were about my feelings in regard to my 25th high school reunion. Well I have been talking to 3 of my classmates from back then... people that I like NOW. I like them as the adults they are now, I can say we would be friends even if we had not gone to school together.

Anyway after a lot of cajoling on their parts I have agreed to go. I admit I am more than a little nervous. I guess it is a good thing that I did it spur of the moment since if I had longer I would drive myself crazy before it got here.

I had written that I thought that one of the reasons for a reunion was to make peace with that time in your life. That is ultimately why I am going. I need to close that chapter.

I will also enjoy the company of the classmates I mentioned. In fact if not for them I wouldn't go at all.

I figure one of three things will occur.
1. I will get there and I will tell off the jerks if they need it
2. People will have genuinely changed
3. I will look at the situation and decide that it just isn't worth it.

Any of the above three are totally acceptable to me and will be a resolution.

I also want to take the chance to make amends to anyone that I may have hurt. To be honest I no one comes to mind BUT you know sometimes you don't realize that you have hurt someone.

I want to just have fun and relax and let this be the settling.

I am actually kind of looking forward to it now. I am taking my camera so you know I will be showing pictures next week.

Anyway I plan to take my inner 16 year old and show her that life evens out...

More thoughts on 25

2011-06-24T06:39:00.002-05:00

After a talk with a sweet friend last night I have been thinking more about the 25th reunion.

You know I have changed since high school, yet for some reason I always believe that everyone else stayed the same. Especially the ones that were... pains in the butt.

Oh, I know that some NEVER grow up, and stay pains in the butt their whole lives. In fact I know that there are examples of all the things I talked about in the last blog BUT I can't just lump everyone there.

Life happens. Bad things happen. You get disappointed. You have losses. You learn that the world doesn't exist for your pleasure. You grow up.

Years have a way of leveling the playing field. We all age and all our bodies change.

Maybe just maybe we learn that people are more than money or status. We learn that we just might like someone we never thought we would. We learn that we are all just trying to go the best we can in our lives and for our families.

I got to thinking... we do stupid things when we are young. We are cruel and thoughtless. We just don't think about anyone but ourselves.

I think that a part of us stays who we were in high school... and I don't mean the jerks. I mean that inside me still lives a chubby and awkward 16 year old. An unsure and scared 16 year old.

I sometimes wonder if reunions are a chance to make peace with that part of us and with others.

We are so young and we never stop to think about what others are going through. We want so desperately to fit it with SOME crowd that we don't share much. I have learned things about people that I didn't know... and I think wow ... I wish I had known then what they were going through. Maybe I would have been different, and then maybe that was the point they didn't want to be treated different.

Sigh... as you can see while I am not planning to go to the reunion there is a lot of things going on in my head to settle.

The ones I know as adults I LOVE dearly... and I am sure that there could be more... if I can get past the 16 year old in THEM.

My thoughts on 25 years

2011-06-22T12:45:00.004-05:00

I have been out of high school for 25 years now... Yeah, I know you are doing the math.... makes me 43.

So my 25th reunion is the weekend of the 4th of July.

I want to give my personal thoughts on it.

I want to start by saying that I moved to the little town the summer before my 8th grade year and left 2 years after high school so I left in 88. I lived there 7 years total.

The town was as best I remember about 5k-6k population at that time and was an oil field town. Going bust about 86.

So now on to the thoughts.

I have never been to a reunion. I won't be going to this one either. I likely will never go to one.

I am not against them, they just simply aren't something that I want to be a part of. High school wasn't horrible. I had good times and good friends. I do remember it fondly. I am not someone that had a terrible experience.

See from talking to others that have gone all it is is a chance to get together and see who has the best and most toys. Who looks the best. Who is the most "famous". Who is the class disgrace...

Then there are the ones that have not had the ... umm smoothest lives and they are talked about ... they have been married HOW many times??? they have HOW many kids??? and HOW many fathers??? She or he had an affair with WHO???

Then there are those for who high school was their peak. So they stay there. They get to relive their glory days. When we are all there they are in their element so they can remind us how great they were .. back then.

Then there are the ones that stayed and took over whatever Daddy had, the family business or whatever and thus they stayed big fish in a little pond never having really made it on their own. They like to show how they run the town now.

See there are a handful of people that am in contact with that I went to high school and they are wonderful people. I am thankful for them in my life. I met one last year, I plan to meet one on Saturday and I plan to go visit another. I WANT to see some of the people ... but I don't want the drama, backstabbing and gossip that a high school reunion brings.

For some reason it seems like high school reunions tend to bring back high school behavior in some people.

For me.. high school was 4 years of my 43 year life. A drop in the bucket. I guess I don't understand the connection that some feel to those 4 years.

I didn't mean to offend anyone... this is simply my thought on things....

Sorry, but you aren't beautiful enough

2011-06-21T14:09:00.002-05:00

So there is a website call Beautifulpeople.com that offers online dating.

Apparently you submit your picture and profile and they decide if you are beautiful enough to be on their site.

Also it seems that there were people that had been accepted and deemed beautiful... HOW WONDERFUL... dang I need an eye rolling icon here! Then some of those people where later told.. you know what you really aren't beautiful after all we are rejecting you... you hag! Ok so I added the last part about the hag.

Now, if you are so superficial as to need to join this site, and date only beautiful people.... then what does it do to the self esteem of that person that is now NOT BEAUTIFUL??

They say... you can resubmit with a few "tweaks" to your profile. hmmm

One woman that was no longer beautiful.. said she was going to get a make over and some professional glamor shots done then resubmit to see if she could be accepted... I guess THEN she will be beautiful.

I am simply flabbergasted. I almost don't know where to start....

I guess that if only the looks of a person appeal to you so much that this is where you go to find a mate you are kinda asking for what you get.

Now I understand that how a person looks may be something that draws you to talk to them, but I certainly hope that it isn't the most important thing in your list.

This is the thing though that sticks with me the most.... if you are getting make overs and glamor shots and so and so on to APPEAR beautiful then what happens when the real you shows up? You know MOST of us don't wake up looking like a model.... We get sick, we get old, heaven forbid we have some sort of accident that alters our appearance!

These people are doing what magazines and tv do.. they are marketing something that isn't real! That woman that has perfect hair and makeup and is shot under the best lighting and at the best angel is not the REAL woman that she is.

I guess this is just something that I don't understand. I know that the inside is what matters, and I also know that when you love someone they are BEAUTIFUL to you...

Beauty is skin deep and fleeting ... it is best that we remember that....

Good triumphs!

2011-06-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

Dear Dastardly Dyson, you sought to foil my master plan for the day. How quickly you forget I have the technology of the screwdriver! I know how you work you evil villain! We fought and I vanquished you and my plans continue. Good has triumphed again and the world is a cleaner place!

It CAN happen to you

2011-06-20T10:27:00.002-05:00

Some people go through life and just assume that they are the exception to every rule, that the rules don't apply to them or that "those things" can't happen to them.

I am not one of those people.

I KNOW they can happen to me, and in fact I assume that they will.

I assume whatever happened to others will happen to me...

Fatalistic or cautious ... I don't know.

Sorry, you ain't Cinderella

2011-06-15T16:11:00.002-05:00

I may be the only woman on the planet that doesn't read romance novels, watch Lifetime movies, or want to see chick flicks.

You know why I don't?

Well all of those things foster the whole Princess Syndrome. Now, I just made that up, you won't find that if you Google it... at least I don't THINK so....

Anyway, the fact is that the men in those books and movies DO NOT EXIST! You know what else those women in those books and movies DO NOT EXIST!

When we fill our minds with that sort of fantasy that is what we look for. We want a man that is as perfect as he is those movies and books. A GREAT normal every day man will never measure up to the fantasy.

I think this leads to unrealistic expectations.

Think about this (thanks Yoda) how many women are like the women in those books and movies? Are YOU?

If they aren't making men totally perfect then they are trashing them! Making them the bad guys, making them ... well feminine. The REAL MAN is apparently not good enough.

If the time spent reading and watching that stuff were used to work on the relationship you HAVE then you might not need to escape into a fantasy world.

So unless there is a there is a glass slipper on your foot and you were drawn by Disney you better stop expecting Prince Charming....

The lion and the sheep

2011-06-14T06:36:00.006-05:00

I guess there is a point in all of our lives when we wonder who we are. We aren't sure what we are about or where we fit in in the world.

It is a dangerous time actually.

We start looking around us and we see a group that we think we might fit in with, because we want acceptance.

We try to copy others because either we think they are cool, or we want a connection with them.

We get pushed into doing stupid things in order to fit in.

This is where you decide if you are going to spend your life as a sheep or a lion.

Sheep copy. Sheep agree with everything. Sheep never take chances. Sheep always go with the group. Sheep don't think original thoughts.

Lions are strong. Lions are original. Lions are free thinkers. Lions are not afraid. Lions don't just go along with things. They are more loner types.

So think about which one you want to be... I decided to be a lion... and sheep made me ... want to EAT THEM.... just sayin.....

Flat

2011-06-13T09:56:00.002-05:00

Did you ever feel... flat? Like all the bubbles in you are gone? When the world is kinda gray?

I guess I am in a mood this morning.

I went for my walk and took my camera, I almost always find something to take a picture of... but not this morning. Everything just looked the same old same old.

My baby birds are gone now too. I don't know if they were big enough to leave the nest of if they met a bad end. I looked to see if they fell out and there was no sign of that or or any trauma to the nest. I have to believe they were big enough to fly, because I can't bare to think of anything else.

I usually get such peace from my walk. I listen to devotionals as I walk but this morning they may as well be speaking Greek for all I got out of it.

I don't know, at least for today I feel a little lost.

I am still losing weight ...

You want to know what is sad? For so long losing weight was a part of my life, my focus. When I reached a healthy level I was lost. I didn't know what to do with my energy.

I hate to admit this but... I caught myself focusing on the scale. I caught myself falling into old habits and thoughts. If I walk faster and longer I would lose a few, if I stopped eating this etc. Things that are NOT healthy thoughts for me.

I don't know how I got here.

I need to find something else to focus on....

Born this way

2011-06-12T16:24:00.002-05:00

Lady Gaga sings how everyone is born the way they are now.

BULL HOCKEY!!!

Now I am not going to talk about the gay aspect of her song her. PERIOD

I am going to talk about the OTHER crap we think we are exempt from blame for just because we think we were born that way.

Now I have a 4 month old grandson and all he knew when he was born was hot and cold, hungry and full. Every thing else he has LEARNED!

Now he makes sounds, plays, smiles, laughs, eats from a spoon, sits up with little help. He has learned to roll over and play with toys.

What have we are adults learned? I mean the things that make us unhappy and unhealthy.

I am a BIG fan of NURTURE in the nature Vs Nurture debate. I think they way we are is due to what we learned growing up and what we have learned as adults.

We are ALWAYS looking for someone or something else to blame, just ask Eve!

So it is easier to say... I am cynical, I was just born that way. I am over weight I was born big and just stayed that way! I have this health issue or that health issue... all my family has it that. Well that may be but chances are pretty good that your BEHAVIOR is the biggest part of it.

Oh I am just big boned! Where you big boned as a baby? Did you weigh 12 pounds? or where you a 7 pounder?

Oh I am a pessimist I was just born that way... I am a can't be monogamous... we weren't born to be that way.

You know, I truly believe that we are born pure, in the image of God. I do not believe that God makes us BORN with any trait that He says is sinful. Yes, he knows we WILL sin, but that comes from free will... and it comes from CHOICES, and it comes from things that we LEARN!

So NO Lady Gaga .... we were NOT born this way!

OH GROW UP!

2011-06-11T06:02:00.001-05:00

OH GROW UP! How many times have you heard that? How many times have you said that?

Now I know that there are times when we MUST be an adult, but I think we forget how to be a kid.

We outgrow the best part of what makes us human.

Kids, especially young ones are the most honest, the quickest to forgive, have the biggest hearts, and believe in magical things.

We grow up and we learn to lie. We learn to cheat. We learn to hurt others on purpose. Every parent has a story where their child said some that was sooo honest that it embarrassed you. Children are pure of heart, they say what they think with no guile. Children have a sense of fairness, if we leave them alone.

We learn to hold grudges. We learn to stay mad forever, and we forget to forgive. A child will one minute be pulling the hair and biting their playmate and 10 minutes later they are giving that same playmate their favorite toy. Whatever they were fighting about is long gone.

We learn to be selfish. We learn to look out for number one and to heck with everyone else. We learn greed. A child will give away things, and you will wonder what happened to a certain shirt or toy. A child will share their snack without hesitation. A kid doesn't make calculations before giving, they don't give to get a tax break. They give for the joy of it.

We grow up and we stop believing in the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and magic. We loose the wonder of things that we can't explain but believe anyway. A child will believe so easily what you tell them. They believe that a tooth is worth a dollar, a bunny lays colored eggs. They are so accepting of things. A child doesn't need proof of God.

It is no wonder that we are supposed to have the faith of a child....

So I think being a grown up is WAY over rated....

Gonna stay a kid!!

Little Ms. Happy

2011-06-10T06:15:00.003-05:00

I am said in previous posts that I hate that my mood is affected by the people I am around. How grumpy and mean people make me mean too. While that has been true... it is also a cop out. An EXCUSE to allow myself to act and think like they do.

Now as I have also said many times that life is about choices, not all choices are easy and following through is often harder than that!

You can make a choice to be happy, glad and thankful then meet with Mr or Mrs Grumpy and Rude and the choice is harder!

I have found some wonderfully upbeat, positive and caring people, and yes they too can affect my day. IN A GREAT WAY! I find that when I see their words, showing their choice to be happy it is easier to be happy myself. I am thankful for those people!

This is the thing... there are always going to be people that dog you, there are always going to be people that want to see you unhappy, see you fail. If you don't let them drag you down, if you continue to succeed and live your life the best you can and be happy... well in the end they will respect you.

Who knows after seeing you continue to try to take the high road, after seeing you always trying to live a good and happy life... well maybe those grumpy and unhappy people will see it is possible for them too!

If I offended...

2011-06-09T16:11:00.002-05:00

The last few posts have been a little more about my personal faith and how it applies to my life.

I am always careful how much I share, because religion in general is a touchy subject. I never want to force what I believe on others. I am not one to shout out or show off my faith. I just try to live in a way that I think pleases God.

I just wanted to show how I am trying to come into a more peaceful place in my life. For me, that is including God.

I never intend to offend anyone with my words or with the sharing of scripture. As I have stated before I am not a preacher. I am not here to beat you over the head with the Bible or tell you what you should or shouldn't do. That is not my place.

I know that people read my blog for many reasons. I hope that things that I say mean something. I hope that a picture is a bright spot. I hope that on a good day I can inspire someone or make them feel less alone.

I just want to be a blessing to people in some way....

73 times!

2011-06-09T08:11:00.010-05:00

I am still thinking and working on living a more grateful life. My morning walks are just such an important part it. I take pictures of things I think are beautiful, it helps my focus.

I have felt a gentle tug from God for months now, to grow closer. This is part of that. In a sense my walk in the morning is like a devotional because I feel like God speaks to me through nature.

I know that it is what God wants from me, mainly because I have been under attack from Satan in a huge way in the last couple of weeks. If it COULD go wrong it DID.

I have struggles to stay focused and thankful. I have struggled to be happy.

Satan was stealing my peace.

The Bible says 73 times to GIVE THANKS.

If you are a parent you know how it feels. You work hard to give your child everything you can, and then you are hurt when they don't thank you, or they don't really understand the sacrifices that were made. Well at least until they are parents themselves.

So I guess I realized how ungrateful a child of God I have been. IT must hurt Him when I take everything He does or gives me for granted!

Thank you Lord, for the blessings in my life.

Did you see my bugs???

In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV

We can never compete with God

2011-06-07T09:11:00.009-05:00

I seem to have some sort of odd... thing with bugs. I am able to photograph them and often I don't even realize it until I download the pictures. On the other hand a couple of nights ago I was stung twice by wasps.... I was not trying to take a picture though lol

Ants! I have to tell you I was itching!

Not really sure what this is but I saw a wasp attack one ....

This little jewel was just walking down the road... I love the red feet! SO stylish. I also noticed that it is banded for some reason.

A miniature horse... adorable!

These were in someone BACKYARD! He is a cute little thing isn't he?

He doesn't get too far away from mama though!

I was thinking that these next few look like fireworks! Look you can see the pollen on it!

There is nothing that man can do that will ever compare to God's handiwork!

We try though don't we?

Trumpet vines buds....

I loved this because it was old and new, one dying and one just budding and the contrast was hard to miss.

A little beacon...

Pretty sure that this is why I sneeze so much, but it is still lovely!

It's funny the yards that are neglected often have the prettiest little flowers hidden in the grass.

These were so tiny.... easily missed, glad I found them

Love the red on the tips of the petals!

You can even see the fine hairs like ... whatever you call them.

I LOVE my camera and I love nature! Sadly my joy ended abruptly this morning as my battery died. So I am charging it up for the next morning walk and the gifts from God!

The walk

2011-06-06T07:07:00.004-05:00

I took a walk this morning just as the sun was coming up. It was lovely, quiet, still and peaceful.

As I meandered... yes meandered, I am in no hurry, I am not trying to burn off calories I am simply there for the experience.

I am listening to my ipod and praying and thinking. It is wonderful.

The sides of the roads where I live are grown up a little, not too bad, but enough that weeds and wild flowers are growing. I realized as I walked along that I was LOOKING for things! Things that were beautiful and things that were different. Things that would make me THANKFUL and HAPPY. Things that felt like God put them there especially for me.

The thing that makes this is awesome is that I didn't make a conscious decision to do this! It was something that my heart and mind did on it's own!

I have said in other blogs that I am trying to change my way of thinking, to a more grateful way of living. So, I actually saw proof of that this morning! I was so excited.

Now I saw lots of things. I only had my iphone with me and well you know they just aren't meant to take stunning pictures. Anyway, I saw this and in truth it was a deep purple color and it caught my eye so I took a quick picture.

Yes, I know it is JUST a weed, but you know I thought it was beautiful. God, didn't have to make weeds pretty, in fact He didn't have to make ANYTHING pretty. He did it as a GIFT to us to make our lives nicer!

So often we don't even bother to notice His work in all the rushing around we do.

I think I will talk that walk again tomorrow morning and I will take the camera and leave the dog lol!

I found a bit of happiness!

2011-06-05T13:17:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I was pruning some trees when I saw a nest... it wasn't quite finished yet.

Then a few days later I walked out just in time to see a bird fly away from the nest so I peeked in and saw 3 little blue and brown speckled eggs!

Today I was going to take a peek in and see what was going on and LOOK!

I originally saw them with the little mouths open lol but they calmed down and took a nap. Goodness they are tiny and so sweet!

The Bible says in Matthew 6:26

King James Bible
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Look at how perfect they are! The tiny fluff that will turn into feathers soon. Those tiny fragile wings that will soon grow strong enough for them to soar under the sun. How amazing that God would care so much about them!

So think about what YOU mean to Him. I needed the reminder this morning.

What I deserve

2011-06-05T03:25:00.002-05:00

I have had self esteem issues my whole life. I have always taken what was given to me. I always just figured that no matter how I was treated that that was what I was worth or deserved.

I let people talk to me in ways that I wouldn't have let them talk to someone I loved. I let them treat me in a way that was less than I wanted because I didn't think I deserved any better.

In a sense not only was I abusing myself with food, I was allowing others to abuse me too.

How sad.

When I was a little girl, I didn't have anyone to stand up for me. As an adult I didn't stand up for myself. I think that the second one is worse.

I treated others the best way I knew how because I wanted them to love or like me. I even let people take advantage of me because I wanted to believe that they wanted to be around me.

So in the last a couple of years I have decided that I deserve more than the crumbs that fall off the table of life.

I am demanding better treatment. I am learning to be my own advocate.

I am learning that I am worth more to ME than I am to others sometimes.

I deserve to be happy.

I beg to differ Mr. Thoreau

2011-06-03T11:03:00.002-05:00

"Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." Thoreau

Now I beg to differ with Mr. Thoreau.

See I think you DO have to pursue happiness.

This world is a sad, angry and hurt world and that is the focus of the news and tv. It is so easy to get mired down in it.

I have been working on changing my way of thinking and looking at life. I have found that I personally, do better when I look for things that I am thankful for and that make me smile.

The Bible tells us to give thanks in everything. I wish I could say I was at that point. I am not. I am working on that. It is hard to give thanks for the things that make you unhappy.

The point is that I truly believe that being a thankful person makes you a happy person. I believe it is pretty much that simple and that hard.

I did a thankful list on here and on Facebook, and while the list kinda got off track a little, I still looked for things everyday for that letter of the day, it made me LOOK for things to be thankful for! To think on things that make me happy. It was sooo good for my soul. I was and am a happier person for that exercise.

I have started a new one ... memories from when you were a child and I have to tell you my childhood wasn't a storybook but I am thinking about the things back then that were good and again I am thankful!

I am thankful for the people that are playing with me! I love to see what they remember.

We always look for the BIG things in life. You know I don't think that is where it is. It is in the laugh of a baby, it is in finding tiny robin's eggs, it is the feeling of warm sun on your shoulders.

It is just what you look for.... and you know what else Mr. Thoreau I have never had happiness elude me when I have a thankful heart and soul....

The power of words

2011-06-02T08:11:00.002-05:00

I love words. I have always loved words. They are so powerful, way more powerful than people think.

They are a balm to the wounded, and yet they can be the weapon that wounds.

They can make us laugh, and destroy us.

They can be the beginning of a new life, or they can forever change a life.

So powerful.

They can change us. The words we think to ourselves are what we become. We talk to ourselves in our heads all the time... a CONSTANT recording... think about the message you send to yourself. What if is was a POSITIVE recording instead of a recording of all the things you don't like about yourself?

The words we say to others... oh they can kill a part of the soul.

We say things in a joking manner that aren't a joke, but since we laugh afterwards or say just kidding we think it isn't a stab at them. Bullcrap!

We say things that are "for their own good" no it is usually for OUR own good, to make us feel a little superior.

We say things that are better left unsaid.... boy am I guilty of this! We say things out of anger and without the proper thought... again guilty!

You know I am trying to learn that I don't always have to have something to say as a rebuttal.

I trying to learn that even if my motives are pure that sometimes it is best to just NOT day anything.

Words can not be taken back. Most often those words are added to that recording in the persons head and added to the constant negative thoughts. Do we really want that?

Sometimes words can ruin a persons life.... that is the ultimate power isn't it? To think that something you say can forever change a person's life.

Words.... I just want mine to be sweet, and kind. That is a work in progress. I want my words to build up and to soothe. I want them to be wise and hopefully provoke thought.

I just want to remember that my words are far more powerful than I know at times.

A healthy soul

2011-06-01T05:59:00.000-05:00

I read this quote on another blog.... Unhappiness is a sickness of the soul.

I have been thinking about this.

It truly is a sickness a disease. Not the couple of minutes of sadness that we have every day when we don't get things they way you want. I mean the deep unhappiness that settles into the soul.

It will slowly eat away at our souls. It makes little holes and it just rips our peace and our inner light to shreds. In fact it will eventually destroy our lives.

If we had this sort of ailment on our skin, we wouldn't be able to get to the doctor fast enough. We would be doing everything in our power to heal it, to be rid of it.

So why do we let that sadness take root?

There is no amount of money or time that we won't spend to find a cure for things. We will do the most painful things, go through the most trying of times to heal ourselves....

But we won't do what it takes to restore happiness to our souls.

I don't know what it will take to heal your soul to restore your happiness. It might be a change of thinking, it might be medicine, it might be therapy or it might be a better relationship with God. You are the only one that knows.

It is time to find a cure and have a healthier soul!

Misplaced emphasis

2011-05-31T12:23:00.002-05:00

You know I see women that post pictures of their bodies... or more specifically body parts and I always wonder... do they think that is the BEST thing about them?

How sad to think that your boobs or butt is the best you have to offer!

I know we all want to look good. We all want to feel good about ourselves. We even often times want the attention. I get it.

I don't get when that is all you promote about yourself.

I suppose it starts in childhood. We give little girls grown up clothes. We let them wear let sport bra type underclothes. We put them in bikinis. We let them watch beauty pageants. We as mothers put so much emphasis on our own bodies that of course they are going to pick up on it.

The thing is ... that unless you have implants... those boobs are gonna sag. That butt is going to sag too. Then the thing you think is so GREAT about you is gone. So then what?

I just don't get how women can be so focused on the outside that there is nothing inside that they are proud enough of to show off.

I understand that taking a picture of your intellect, or sense of humor is impossible. Generosity and a kind heart don't show in pictures.

Look all women have boobs and a butt, the other things have to be cultivated. They have to be fed and nurtured. If you are too busy with your chest and booty how are you reading, giving and growing?

And really... one picture of your ... assets is enough .... unless you have taught them to do tricks!

The best YOU can be!

2011-05-30T19:09:00.003-05:00

I went through a stage where I blamed my mother and well everyone in my life up to that point for all that was wrong with me and my life. I often wondered... what would I have been like had I had a different mother, or if this or that hadn't happened. I just felt robbed.

But more than feeling robbed and wondering what might have been I used it as an excuse to stay the miserable, unhappy and unhealthy person that I was.

It is easy to be a victim. It is easy to say... I am this way because of the past. It is easy to let people feel sorry for you and to feel sorry for yourself. It is easy to be "helpless".

In the end it all EXCUSES.

Yes, the things that happened in the past SHAPE us. It DOES make us who we are.

In the end though YOU decide how much!

You know you will never know who you would have been, that is a simple fact. That person DOES NOT EXIST!!!

I believe that if you don't like something about yourself you CAN change it. You DO NOT have to settle for a you that is less than you can be!

You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be untouched by the past... but you can be the best YOU can be. Do the best you can with what you have and start to make the changes you want.

I CAN promise you one thing. If you sit around just waiting for it to happen or waiting for some sign that it is time ... well it isn't going to happen.

Most people do NOT have a light bulb moment. It is more a waking up to reality and taking responsibility for your life. Being the person you WANT to be.

Being a victim is way too easy....

Memorial Day salute...

2011-05-29T20:14:00.004-05:00

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

-- John McCrae

Saga of the shorts

2011-05-28T15:45:00.002-05:00

So I HAD to go shorts shopping. It wasn't a "Oh, I need new shorts for summer! mine are old and out of style" kinda thing. It was an I've lost an unknown (I don't want to know) about of weight and my shorts are so baggy it is pathetic. I took my shorts off without unbuttoning and unzipping them.

I can't wear baggy yoga pants and work out type clothes anymore! I know I complain about never being warm but this is Texas and it does get to over 100 and the humidity it bad! So I do need shorts at home and outside, inside store and other places I need a sweater! lol

So off I went this morning to find shorts. I have a VERY hard time finding jeans/shorts that fit me. I have hips and a little waist. In other words I look like a words I woman.

When I was losing the weight I promised myself that I would always wear things with buttons and jeans because I was so heavy that they didn't put those in the clothes I could wear.

I also know those type clothes are less forgiving to weight gain. I always thought well if they get tight I will know to cut back and lose a few pounds. Well that doesn't seem at this time to be an issue...

Last year I bought shorts I was insistent that I have zippers and buttons. I bought them and I tailored them to ... well to DO. They never really looked good... And regardless they are now too big anyway.

I dreaded today. However, I realized that I had to be nice to myself. The body I have is the body I have.

I need thing that FIT. Period.

So I went to the women's section, well misses. I found a couple of XL drawstring light weight denim shorts and headed to the dressing room. They were baggy. I already HAD baggy I needed FITTED. I went back and got Larges. They fit like a dream! The elastic in the waist along with the drawstring made the waist perfect.

I decided that I had to go with those. I admit in a little way it seems like I broke a promise to myself.

I just took a deep breath got 4 pairs and 3 cute shirts and went to the check out. I was rewarded when everything was on sale! I got all of that for 75 bucks at Kohls.

So I consider the day a success... and I was nice to myself. So I am going to go put on my cute shorts and shirt and take myself out for the evening.

Minding your own house

2011-05-28T07:48:00.000-05:00

I see so many people that think they are supposed to be leading the world, they believe they are in a position to tell people how they should conduct their lives... Or how they know better than we do how to run our lives. Yet they can't seem to manage their own lives, families or homes!

Politicians are telling us how to spend our money... or TAKING it and spending it on stupid things! All the while they are avoiding paying taxes. They are employing illegal aliens, they are hiding money and taking under the table bribes!

Then there are preachers that are having affairs while telling us to be Christ like! They can't manage their own families yet they are trying to manage a congregation. Many times they are not good stewards of their own money or the church's money.

Doctor's that reek of cigarette smoke that tell us not to smoke. Doctor's that weigh 300 pounds and tell us to diet and watch our blood pressure!

I am always examining my life and while I offer my experiences here I would never take a leadership role. I would NEVER tell someone else how to live, even backed with laws or anything else. I just think you need to deal with your own little piece of the world and make sure it is in good shape before you expand....

Just my two cents...

Super power...

2011-05-27T15:48:00.003-05:00

If I could have any super power it would be a shield that blocked other peoples words, moods, and actions from altering my mood.

I can start a day off being happy and feeling good and a mean word from someone can just deflate me like a balloon.

I can become stressed because others are.

I have a soft heart, and I feel deeply for others.

It can be hard to separate their emotions from my own.

I can not imagine how psychiatrist or counselors do it! I would be insane. I KNOW there are people that can be empathetic and such without absorbing it... I just need to learn how to do it.

An interesting trip to Walmart

2011-05-26T10:27:00.003-05:00

Those of you that know me, know I have an interesting relationship with Walmart. More so the shoppers and the customers lol. Anyway, I had an interesting experience this morning.

I lost my sunglasses the other day. I hate to lose my sunglasses, I mean they are cheapies from Cato's but when I find a pair I like I hate to lose them.

Since I had my eyes fixed a few years ago I am sensitive to the sun and need the shades so I was going to run in Cato's and get some new ones. Well Cato's wasn't open yet and so I decided to go in Walmart and get some fun nail polish until it opened.

I walked passed a special little sunglasses display, they were 5 bucks and I thought, what the heck I will see if I like any of them. Most of them were solid color and cute enough but plain. Then there was a single pair of leopard print! SO cute! I pick them up and notice they didn't have the big honking plastic tag on them, or those stickers on the lenses... I looked inside to notice that the wording had been worn away... no made in China! There was a little sticky place on one of the ear pieces... and on the front there were little red paint splatters.

(see the red spots!!)

THEY WERE MY SUNGLASSES!!!!!

I had left mine in the buggy the last time I was there!

I guess an employee found them thought someone decided not to buy them and left them in the buggy and stuck them with the others!

I was sooooo tickled! I love those cute little sunglasses!

I do now wonder if someone would have bought them! Walmart would have sold my worn sunglasses for 5 bucks if they could have!

Coming soon..... maybe

2011-05-25T14:05:00.004-05:00

I have a bit of free time the next week and I plan to quilt.

Well this is how it has gone so far.

I went to my stash of fabric... I have tons! I picked out the ones I wanted.

I washed them and while they were in the dryer, I took a 3 1/2 hour nap!

I got up and folded the fabric and took this nice picture to show you all the fabric.

Then sat down to check out stuff online and write this....

I sure hope I actually get to the quilt making part of this!

LOL!!!!

Use your noodle!

2011-05-23T07:31:00.002-05:00

This last weekend, I am sure you heard, a man predicted the rapture of Christians. Obviously, it did not happen. This brings me to what I have been thinking about.

There were people that truly believed what this man told them. They quit jobs, they sold their stuff, they spent all their money. On the word of one man.

A man that told them their Bibles said that.

What bothers me most is that these people so blindly believed. That very book, had they done their own reading would have told them that this man was in direct conflict with what the Bible said. It says, not only that no man knows the time, but that there will be people that will try to deceive us and we should be wise.

The thing is that this isn't simply a religious issue. People believe ANYTHING they are told!

How many times have you seen stuff on facebook that is totally not true? Something that is so easily checked out? Not only that but have you reposted it???

How many fad diets that promised you weight loss have you followed without looking into the truth?

How many GOSSIPS stories have you believed without going to the person?

How many news/magazine/newspapers stories have you blindly followed?

Maybe you found out the truth later, maybe someone was good enough to set the record straight.

We have minds of our own! We have intelligence and reasoning! If you are reading this you have a powerful research tool under your fingertips! I do NOT mean Wikipedia!

So why do we do it? Why do we give up our own free thinking?

Are we just lazy? I think that is a HUGE part of it!

Do we simply believe what we want to? Yep we do that too.

Don't you see what a very very dangerous thing it is to be a sheep and blindly follow someone else?!

I urge you to do your own thinking! So you aren't deceived in any area.

Remember those sheep... sometimes there is a wolf in those clothes.....

ALL CLEAN!

2011-05-22T16:11:00.006-05:00

All wrapped up !

All dry!!

I smell good too!

Bath time is funny!

Look at my curls!!

Ok, Mati that is enough now!!

What's on my mind this morning

2011-05-20T06:39:00.005-05:00

^{This may be a multi-subject post. Lots on my mind this morning.

First one of the events that triggered yesterday's post was that I was at a gas station talking to Sam when we were approached by a man that asked if he could wash our windshields for whatever change we had, he even offered to pick the rocks out of my tires.

He had a story, but you know everyone does. Times are hard, and if you think it can't happen to you, you better wake up.

This is the thing. I have been told I am a sucker, I have been told I am naive. I have been told oh, they are conning you, they do this and never have to work! They make tons of money doing that cause people like you give them money! They are JUST going to buy alcohol or drugs!

Now that may be, and I am sure that is the case sometimes. In the end though is that really my business? Some would say YES it is your money you are throwing away. I don't think it IS my business to be honest.

Why you ask? Well see first off I like to CHOSE to believe that if a person is begging they are doing out of need. I CHOSE to believe there is still some honesty in people. I CHOSE to believe there is a need there that I can meet.

I guess in a sense it is selfish of me to give because it makes ME feel good to help someone.

The final thing for me is this...} “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Mathew 25:40
^{Nowhere does that say, give to the ones that are going to use it the right way. Nowhere does it say to give it to the ones that REALLY need it. We aren't suppose to decide who we give to... we are supposed to help those in need. What they do with that gift you give them... well that is between them and God.

I want to remind people here that the Bible NEVER says God helps those that help themselves! It says God's strength is made perfect in weakness. Just a thought!

*****************************************************

Another thing on my mind this morning is all the talk about the rapture that is supposed to be tomorrow. *sigh* I try really hard not to ridicule this because I DO believe in the rapture. Bottom line though is I believe in the Bible.

Now this man has predicted this I believe 3 times before and of course he was wrong. The thing is this... he is supposedly using some sort of calculation using the Bible!

I can only guess that his research missed a certain passage in that very Bible!}But of that day and hour knoweth no [man], no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. Mathew 25: 36 KJV

The thing is, he isn't helping people. In fact he is doing the opposite! He is giving ammo to no believers. He is making us all look a little crazy, and he is making people even more complacent!

*sigh* Christians are their own stumbling block.

************************************************^{The last thing....

We as a country have become so sympathetic to the things that God condemns that .. well look around you!

We make laws that condone behavior that God says is offensive to Him. Then we still expect Him to bless this country!}
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Shrinking my world

2011-05-19T19:00:00.002-05:00

I have been doing some rethinking.

I used to think that you have to think about all the whole world. You have to listen to the news constantly, you had to know what was going on everywhere. Not only that, but I thought I had to have an opinion on everything or always take a stand.

The thing is, while yes, you do need to be aware of the world you don't have to be obsessive about it. I am/was.

What happened was that I ended up feeling hopeless, helpless, frustrated, depressed and every other negative feeling that there is. I was focusing on things that are too big for me to fix. Many times they are too big for anyone other than God to fix. After spending all my energy worrying about things I can't fix I had no energy to deal with the things in my own life.

I decided that while I want to be aware of the world in general that my own little world is where I can make a difference. I can't help Japan, I can only help those hurting in my community. I can't do anything about the turmoil in the middle east but I can try to keep the peace here in my life. I can't feed hungry in various parts of the world, but I can give to my food bank. I can't stop human rights violations but I can watch out for little kids and old people.

I guess in the end if everyone dealt with their own little place in the world, then the whole world would be taken care of.

I know that isn't going to happen because people are selfish, but I am choosing to shrink the world that I fret over to the size in which I can make a difference.

Sack cloth and ashes? yes please

2011-05-18T07:15:00.006-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that we as humans LIKE suffering. Yep we LIKE IT.

Why else would be do the things we do? We put off going to the doctor, then we don't take the medicine he gives us until it is gone. We put ourselves in situations that make us miserable. We don't let go of hurt and anger.

I truly believe that a part of us WANTS to be unhappy. I wonder why that is? We say we want to be happy, and I think we do, but we sabotage it at every turn.

Why?

Does suffering make us better? Does it makes us "belong"? Does it give us something to whine about? Does it make us superior? Does it give us an excuse? Does it get us sympathy? Do we think we deserve it?

Could be any or all of the above.

I don't know why you want to suffer. I don't even really know why I want to suffer although I have a pretty good idea.

One example I will give you about myself. The last few days have been really hard for me. I have been emotional and sad, and you know that is OK. Those are normal emotions! Yet I didn't want to feel those, for ME I would rather hurt physically than emotionally. So I ate ice cream. Not just ANY ice cream, mind you, but a Braum's brownie sundae. VERY rich ice cream, hot chocolate and a brownie on the bottom. SERIOUSLY delicious. I KNEW it was going to make me sick. I can not eat that way anymore. So why? I have been thinking about it. I did it to punish myself. I did it because I feel like I have failed. So therefore there must be a price to pay, and as I said I would rather it be physical than mental. The bad part is that while my tummy is still not happy with me this morning my emotions are still there....

I wish this post had answers to this question but it doesn't, it is just something to think about....

May Flowers

2011-05-16T16:34:00.005-05:00

I took Mr. Wyatt and Miss Mollydog for a walk this morning. I grabbed my camera on the way out the door. I haven't used my camera for anything but Wyatt in ages. Photography is good for my soul, I have said it so many times.

It is funny how I take pictures sometimes then only when I download them do I see a special little gift in the picture. I am not one to do a lot of correcting to my pictures and I do not even own photoshop. What you see is what I saw.

Enjoy the morning's beauty!

Regrets

2011-05-16T10:56:00.002-05:00

I know that we all have regrets. I am really having them today.

I know, from experience, that the ones that can benefit from this post the most won't. I have been there and for some reason things just never sink in. We are sure that those things will never happen to us. I don't know why I just know it is so.

Today, I had to tell my daughter that watching my grandson is too much for me to do. That my body simply can't do it. I am 43 years old, folks. I shouldn't have this trouble. Their are women my age that have their OWN babies!

I had bypass 5 1/2 years ago and as time goes by it seems to be taking it's toll more and more.

I have the fatigue from hell. I don't sleep for a variety of reasons. I live in a fog of half alertness sometimes.

I have started having the spells again where I black out when I stand up...

I stay so cold that on a 70 degree day I have to wear sweats and sometimes take hot baths.

Vitamin deficiencies are the norm.

I throw up about 3-4 times a week, it seems that as time goes by I tolerate LESS not more like most people do.

I have an elbow that hurts all the time, I have arthritis in my hips.

All of the things that make me feel old stem from the surgery or from eating myself to the point of needing it.

Because I couldn't deal with life, and my feelings and my shame, I forever damaged my body! If you are heavy PLEASE PLEASE reread that. I know that it won't matter... It wouldn't have to me. I would have thought me preachy or whiny.

Because I was selfish, I can't give myself to my grandson, or anyone else in a way that I want to.

I feel selfish and horrible today and I regret the surgery and I regret that I ate myself to the point of needing it!